Be My Role Model

I am Monisha Kumaran, a home maker and passionate writer with hands on experience in handling the SEO of renowned clients across international markets. I believe writing in layman's language.

My Role Model

         Everyone in this whole wide world, has a role model whom they look up to.  But we’ve all had a common role model at some point of time, without even realizing. We have looked up to them to learn what is love, we have imitated them at home, they who constantly motivate us. Always with us but least noticed. They are “Our Parents”. They are the only people who think good for us even during the worst. With all that being said, it gives a greater responsibility to all parents out there. Everyone whether you like it or not, knowingly or unknowingly imitate your parents at some point. Let’s discuss on some areas to shape today’s parenting for a happy child tomorrow. Remember, it all starts from home.

                        5 Areas of improvement

No Child Is a Bad Child

          Remember, when a baby is born into this world, it knows nothing. The baby is like a wet clay in the hands of it’s parents. It is in the hands of mom and dad to shape up the infant as part of a caring family and a responsible citizen. There is no such thing as a “bad kid”. Sometimes kids express their anger, fear, hurt and dilemma in the only way they know. But we sometimes soon label them as troublemakers. Kids these days are highly intelligent. They need your support.

The bond between you and your kid grows with trust. The kid should have the confidence to communicate anything to its parent with TRUST. It is a big word. To put it in a scenario, your kid has bumped into someone by mistake and knows what she has done is wrong but still hesitates or feels bad to say “sorry”. It might be something small, but it’s an opportunity to teach the importance of that magical word SORRY. Instead of insisting the kid again and again, it would be a good idea to say “If you feel bad, its ok. I shall come along with you and start apologizing to the person on your behalf, then you continue”. This way you ensure to be with your kid even in difficult times and that she can trust you no matter what.

Appreciate the Right!

          In the process of teaching the right from wrong, we as parents sometimes forget to appreciate the right acts done by our kids and begin to act only as pin pointers. When you take time to appreciate the good done by kids, it makes them feel worthy and gives them a sense of responsibility right from childhood. You need not wait for something great to happen to express yourself, getting a credit for small things like cleaning up their toys after playing without being instructed goes a long way. Using words like “I’m proud of you that my baby boy has grown up to help mommy at home” gives them a positive feeling about themselves and grows self-respect.

            Did you also know, kids like to take up responsibilities? Yes, next time try giving your kid a chance to baby sit his younger sibling or help dad carry groceries from the car. They simply love to be grown ups. 

Don’t Pamper too Much!     

            We all love our kids. We strive to give them the best in everything. We pamper them with things, we never had as a kid. But, this is also due to the lack of time we have to spend with them these days. Things have become more materialistic. People had more number of kids in the olden days, their bonding was great and most of all there was less technology. It is not the case anymore. With our shrinking family size, the focus on the kids is more. This is a problem gaining attention. When these kids grow, they expect the same pamper from the society. Worse is that they end up not knowing how to handle rejection. 

Sometimes, a child who has been too much pampered, starts throwing tantrums if she wants a toy at a shop and you might end up buying it even if you did not plan for it. “No” is an important word, a child should get used to from home. Parents should know to draw a clear line between need and luxury. Remember the good old saying, “Too much of anything is good for nothing”.

They are watching

          Have you ever noticed small kids trying to imitate their parents?? A classic example would be a 5-year-old girl, taking care of her dolls just the way a mom cares for her babies. Little boys wanting to dress up and head to office, like their dads. Believe it or not, my little boy was crazy about his jean. Every day, every night you will see him only in jean everywhere just like his dad.

            It is important for us as parents to behave in a way you expect your child to. For e.g. Before starting to emphasize the importance of the magic words to our kids, we need to take time and check if we use them at home. If you expect your kid to say sorry and thankyou to you, she should be seeing you doing the same to your partner at home, your parents and to them. Good manners starts from home and home is the beginning of a community.

Make Them Feel Worthy

          Do we treat kids the way we treat elders? Do we give ear to what they want to say with full attention like the way we hear our friends or family? Do we treat their concerns with the same level of importance they see it? I bet the answer is a big NO. Is it because we are in a more authoritative position? 

            This can be dealt better, it’s important to make children feel worthy and develop the self-confidence giving them a feeling of trust in their abilities. Given the scenario of a household with a busy working mom, held up in some office work and the child wants to show her drawing to mom. In many such cases, what we do is just take a glance of it and say, “Nice Picture”. Sometimes without even seeing. What does the kid learn from this? It is ok not to respond properly if you are busy. Is that what we want to communicate? Instead, excuse yourself from your child for a couple of minutes, complete your office work and then discuss about the picture with your kid. Show your involvement, be sure to mention which was your favorite part and ask questions about the picture. By doing this, you indicate that office work is important, more important is your kid and that you want to spend quality time with her. 

         The interesting part of parenting is, at some point we all feel failure. But there is no hard-core rule here. Every child, every parent, every family is different. You know what is best for your kid. Trust your instincts. A family that says I LOVE YOU often is a happy family, embrace your child with the warmth of your love at every possible moment. Children have a whole lot of life overcoming new challenges in almost all phases. Childhood is really short, let them enjoy. It never returns, both for them and us.

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