Ten Ways Gratitude Can Change Your Life

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

  Eckhart Tolle 

As an alcoholic, I was born restless, irritable, and discontented. I was not comfortable in my own skin and knew nothing of being at peace. I was self-will run riot on steroids, without even being aware of it. I was told meditation was the answer to my dilemma, but I could not sit still and clear my mind for even a few minutes. So what’s a girl to do?

 “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

  Willie Nelson

Every time I would call my sponsor with tales of unimaginable woe, she would ask me to write a gratitude list. What kind of trickery is this, said I?  She would patiently explain that you can’t be in gratitude and depressed at the same time. Color me skeptical, but I was desperate.

Your mind is like an unruly puppy that needs to be trained. I don’t have to indulge my tendencies toward negativity and self-pity that I learned as a child. “I can’t help the way that I feel” was a constant refrain. Imagine learning that you can indeed change how you feel and that feelings aren’t facts.

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.”

 Doris Day

But it takes practice. A lifetime of negativity does not disappear overnight. It’s a muscle that needs to be worked on to grow strong. Twelve Step meetings are a great way to get out of your head, as is helping others. When you are in service, you are not wallowing in your distorted thinking. It is one of the great paradoxes of life; that in helping others, we are really helping ourselves. I needed constant reminders to steer clear of the dangerous neighborhood that is my mind. 

What exactly is a gratitude list, you ask? Write five things you are grateful for each night before going to bed. I used to struggle until I was advised to start counting the simple things: I am grateful to have a roof over my head, I am grateful I have enough to eat, I am grateful for my health and well-being.

  “The root of joy is gratefulness.”

    David Steindl-Rast 

How can something so simple reprogram your mind?  In Psychology Today, Amy Morin reports on Seven Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude (April 2015) which are listed below.

1.   Gratitude opens the door to more relationships.

An article published in Emotion Magazine (2014) concluded that showing gratitude toward new acquaintances makes them more likely to want to continue the relationship. This was true in business as well as personal relationships. Saying “thank you” is not only good manners, but it makes people more inclined to like you. (My grandmother would say she didn’t need a scientific study to tell her that.)

2.     Gratitude improves physical health. 

Grateful people on average exercise more and feel healthier, according to a 2012 study in Personality and Individual Differences. They experience less physical discomfort and tend to do physical checkups and self-care. When you are grateful for your health, you tend to take care of it.

3.     Gratitude improves psychological health.

Robert Emmons, a UC Davis Professor and author of several books on the benefits of gratitude, has discovered a connection between gratitude and emotional health. Being thankful mitigates the impact of negative emotions, reducing time wasted on frustration, envy and regret. In other words, gratitude amplifies happiness and lessens depression. While gratitude is not a panacea for all mental illnesses, it's been shown to release serotonin and dopamine into the brain, the two neurotransmitters that trigger feeling “good”. 

4.     Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression.

A study by the University of Kentucky in 2012 said that grateful people are more social and less prone to penalize others, even when provoked. They had a higher capacity for empathy and were less interested in retaliation against the perceived wrongdoing of others. The world is in short supply of empathy these days, and as Gandhi said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

5.     Grateful people sleep better.

According to a 2011 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, creating a gratitude journal enhances your sleep. Spending a few minutes before bed writing out your gratitude list helps you sleep longer and deeper. And who doesn’t need that?

6.     Gratitude improves self-esteem.

When you are grateful, you are less likely to be jealous of others’ success,  otherwise known as compare and despair. You are more likely to celebrate other people’s victories. In 2014, the Journal of Applied Sports Psychology concluded that athletes who practiced gratitude had higher levels of self-esteem, which is key to finding your peak performance. 

7.     Gratitude increases Mental strength.

It has long been known that gratitude can reduce stress, but did you know practicing gratitude can help overcome trauma? Vietnam war veterans who practiced gratitude had noticeably less post-traumatic stress. (Behavior Research and Therapy 2006). The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology studied the aftermath of the September 11th terrorist attacks and concluded that gratitude created resilience: focusing on your blessings even in times of great upheaval keeps you out of the downward spiral of negative thinking. 

Here are some other surprising benefits to add to the list.

  8.   Gratitude makes you less materialistic.

According to California psychiatrist Monisha Vasa, M.D., teaching children about gratitude at an early age is something parents can do to keep their children from becoming overly materialistic. (Journal of Positive Psychology, 2018). Writing out a gratitude list can be challenging for kids, so Dr. Vasa suggests teaching by example. “Allow children to witness you modeling being helpful and kind to others in small or big ways,” says Vasa. “Noticing and participating in acts of kindness as a family allows for more connection and positive experiences, which we can all be grateful for.”

9.    Gratitude may stop you from overeating.

Say what? This sounds like a stretch, but in Time Magazine (Nov. 2017) Susan Peirce Thompson tells Jamie Ducharme that “Gratitude replenishes willpower.” A scientist who focuses on the psychology of eating, Thompson concludes that practicing gratitude strengthens your impulse control, which enables you to take a breath and make better choices. If you feel that your eating is out of control, Thompson suggests you step back and make a shortlist of all that you are grateful for. This has a way of pressing a “reset” button and getting you out of your head.

10.  Gratitude gives you happiness that lasts.

As many women know, bursts of happiness can be experienced through shopping, sex or chocolate. But alas, this happiness is short-lived. Emma Seppälä, author of The Happiness Track, believes “Gratitude is something that leads to much more sustainable forms of happiness because it’s not based in that immediate gratification; it’s a frame of mind.” (Time Magazine Nov. 2017)

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

William Arthur Ward

And therein lies the key- your frame of mind. You get to choose that! Is the glass half empty or half full? Making the glass fifty-one percent full swings you upward toward an attitude of gratitude. And just imagine where that can take you.