The Importance Of Defining Your Values
One of the greatest things I've ever done for myself is take the time to figure out what I value most and then coming up with a list of my top 10 values that I feel like align the most with myself.
So what exactly do I mean when talking about values? I mean our core values that reflect the character, purpose, and priorities of each individual. Some examples of values are as follows: Authenticity, commitment, honesty, friendship, health, religion, spirituality, kindness, positivity, intelligence, courage, family, growth, connection, order - and the list could go on and on!
There are so many benefits of having a defined set of core values for yourself. Not only will it help you strengthen your relationship with yourself, but it will also help you understand others and give you a clearer perspective.
Today I'm going to share with you what I think are the top 5 benefits of defining your core values.
Benefit #1: You Get to Know Yourself
The first step in defining your values is to reflect on who you are. Think about the decisions you've made in the past and why. Reflect on how you felt in a given situation. What you'll find is that behind every belief and behavior lies a core value.
For example, let's say that you have met someone new recently. You like this person, but you seldom share personal details of your life to them as you are unfamiliar with them and don't feel comfortable with letting people know too much about you too soon. This could indicate that you value privacy and/or trust.
Benefit #2: You Get to Create Yourself
Reversely to my prior example, maybe you notice that you have a problem with oversharing and you feel like you'll benefit from having the value of privacy. In the future when interacting with people you'll have this value in mind as a means to lessen your habit of oversharing.
Characteristics are individual of the person; and characteristics can be learned. Ask yourself what you want most out of life and who you want yourself to be when going through this thought process. The best part about this is you get to tailor your values to where you are in your life. You don't work for your values; your values work for you! So if you decide that something isn't as important to you as you thought, there's ample flexibility to switch things up to your liking.
Benefit #3: You Hold Yourself Accountable
After taking careful consideration into what your values are, the next step is to start enforcing these values into your daily life. When faced with a given decision your values will be there as a strong reference.
For example, let's say you value commitment. At the beginning of the year you made a resolution to go to the gym every weekday morning and get at least 30 minutes of exercise. But then your alarm goes off... and here comes the decision. What would someone who values commitment decide?
Having a definitive set of core values holds you accountable to making decision that align with those values. Taking the time to ask yourself if your behavior reflects your values will help you hold yourself accountable to them, thereby setting a standard for yourself.
Benefit #4: You Have an Inner Sense of Direction
Your core values give you an inner sense of guidance when it comes down to your life's decisions and goals. Using your values as the foundation of your journey is a surefire way to keep yourself heading in the right direction. For times when you feel lost and unsure, your values will be there to support you and guide you to the next part of your journey. And in times when you feel confident, your values will be there as a checking point.
Benefit #5: You Care Less What Others Think of You
Here's my favorite part about having a defined set of core values to lead your life with: you stop caring so much about what other people think about you. You see, the same way you go through your experiences, beliefs, and goals to come up with your values - other people go through the same process when defining their values. Nobody on this planet has the exact same experiences, beliefs, goals, and purpose as you.
Let me break this down:
Let's say that you grew up as a not-so-popular kid. So you easily learned to be comfortable with being by yourself and you realized how unimportant fitting in really is. In fact, you saw how fitting in actually limited ones potential. As a result, autonomy is on your list of values.
Let's say your cousin (we'll call her Susie) was a popular kid growing up. She did sports, was president of two clubs, and had excellent people skills. These traits landed her a scholarship into college. Because of this, community is on Susie's list of values.
So who is right here? The answer is nobody.
You and Susie do not see things the same because you both have different experiences that you've learned from. Susie may look at your values and disagree, but it doesn't really matter what Susie thinks because your core values are tailored to YOU. Your job while you're here in this world is to enforce your own values. If you let other people impose their values onto you (which, they will) then you won't be able to reach your full potential. Let people live their lives in accordance with their values while you stay focused on your own. Your future self will thank you for this!
HOW TO:
In conclusion, when coming up with your list of core values think long and carefully about what each value means to you. Know what each value is definitively on top of creating your own interpretation of each value. Know that just because you don't have a certain core value on your list doesn't mean that you don't care about it at all; it just means that you value something more important that you feel aligns with your purpose.
To get the best results from this, I recommend putting your values somewhere where you know you will see them on a daily basis. Take time throughout the week to reflect on if you've been living in accordance with your values. Don't be afraid to change some of your values up if you feel like it no longer aligns with your life. Own your individuality and take control of your life!