Dalnette Bell

Traumatic experiences are varied; there are no comparisons for any paired stories shared. However in cause and effect matters, the way individuals handle their trauma determines the life they plan for themselves. While the method of hurt people hurting peopleisa common tactic used, it is a redundant strategy that will only lead you into an endless cycle of negativity. While projecting your overwhelming emotions, you tend to push away the people that have your overall best interest at heart. So how can this cycle be stopped? The first step to ending the cycle of hurt is to analyze and acknowledge your wrongs. Take a minute to recollect everything you have said or done. While in that moment, notice who you have said this too as well as who you did what to. Think about if this person was the one who should be the recipient of the treatment you give. This isNOT the time to start organizing a pity party for yourself but rather an opportunity to express and admit that you were in the wrong. When you decide to openly admit your wrongs and/or apologize, avoid using one-sided language or I statements (there are examples below to help understand why you shouldn’t use these outlets of communication). Instead, confess your mistakes and offer the measures you can do better while asking for help and actually following through with the commitments you agree upon. Actions always speak louder than words and putting the work in to be a better person is already walking towards the path in the right direction.