Gratitude, Acceptance And Joy In The Simple Things

When it comes to accepting, being grateful and taking life as it comes, it can be very difficult, especially if you have been programmed to be rigid and have everything perfect and a particular way in your life. This is very true for me. I grew up trying to be perfect, longing for approval and stuck on time limits. – Everything has to happen at this time or else I am a failure. As I got older and eventually started going to counseling, I realize I had it all wrong. I had to unlearn everything I thought to be true about life. Being perfect was not possible. When I heard this, I felt like I had lived my whole life completely wrong, upset when dreams I thought I wanted didn’t work out, forcing circumstances and never truly enjoying life. I became really miserable. The solution – I had to learn to flow with life, practice gratitude, accept the things I was unable to change, and really enjoy the things that mattered – the simple little joys of fresh air, the country, a good book just to name a few.

Practicing gratitude is non-negotiable. It calms me down when I feel like I’m getting angry at a bad circumstance in my life. It also brings me back to a "happy place" in my mind when I begin to compare myself to others. Even if I have a bad day, being grateful makes me realize that good things are still happening every day. I practice gratitude by exercising the following ways:

1. Praying as soon I get up out of bed

This is vital for my mornings as it puts everything in perspective for me to start my day on the right foot. If I forget to do this, then I notice I am missing something during my day. 

2. Saying at least three things out loud that I am grateful for

Practicing gratitude out loud makes me aware of what I am saying to myself and ensures that I intentionally be positive by the thoughts I think of to say and adjust my mood.

3. Making a journal entry

Writing what I am grateful for in my journal is very therapeutic and is a great practice to get out of my own head.

4. Contacting a friend and letting them know that I am grateful for their friendship and I really appreciate them

People like when you think of them enough to contact them to say hello but even better to let them know you appreciate their presence in your life. This allows me to be vulnerable and to take the time to connect with people I care about. 

Learning to flow with life and accepting what I cannot change took a little more effort. I started reciting different parts of the serenity prayer by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr when I need it was a turning point for me. Also I didn’t realize how much it can relate so specifically to how I led my life and what I needed to change. Although this prayer is used specifically a lot for Alcoholics Anonymous AA meetings, I found that it was also very beneficial just for regular day to day life. Accepting what is and who I am was the launching pad for a number of things: 

1. Living life on my own terms. 

When I don’t seek the approval of others I have the freedom to think for me and know what is best for my life without feeling guilty.

2. Doing my best in every situation

When I have done my best I can be assured that things will work out the way they are suppose to. No more feeling overwhelmed by forcing things to happen.

3. Owning my past, present and my future

I believe that everything whether good or bad in my life works out in the end. I am a masterpiece and an amalgamation of my past which brought me to my present and knows that I can create an amazing future.

What really matters in life? I was so fixated on chasing the impossible perfection of life and approval that I forgot what makes life so special. –The simple things that bring joy. Visiting the countryside made me realize that it is the small things in life that brings joy. - The fresh, crisp air, the sun shining on my skin, fresh spring water, and wonderful people to enjoy it with. In addition to all the free things at life’s disposal I found that engaging in wholesome hobbies not only keeps me occupied but also gives me something to look forward to that could be the highlight of my day help me learn a new skill. Here are some hobbies I personally enjoy and would recommend:

1. Playing an instrument

This is an amazing hobby which has multiple functions while doing it. It helps with the frontal lobe through exercising the mind, increasing memory and reducing stress and it is fun.

2. Reading a good book

I enjoy reading a traditional book or even listening to an audiobook on a rainy day or before going to bed. I feel like I am traveling through the pages I am reading or through the words that I am listening to particularly if the genre is fiction.

3. Cooking/Baking

This can be very relaxing to do if you like it. I particularly enjoy baking more and it very therapeutic for me as I try new recipes.

4. Taking walks

Being in touch with nature fuels tranquility in the mind that allows me to be at peace and become more self-aware. It also helps me get some exercise which positively affects both my mind and body.

With faith, desire, practice and support, I have learnt to be more grateful, accept what I cannot change, enjoy the simple things in life and live life more fully and unapologetically. I have realized that I will never be perfect but I can live a life of perfection through the imperfections.