How To Cope

There's no real right or wrong way to deal with life's unpredictability. In fact, there are so many large and vast options, and twice as many situations to apply these options to these days, that we can really choose whichever suits us best. 

According to the psychological definition of coping, per the APA Dictionary of Psychology: 

n. the use of cognitive and behavioral strategies to manage the demands of a situation when these are appraised as taxing or exceeding one's resources or to reduce the negative emotions and conflict caused by stress. 

The world we live in is very different from the one even just 2 or 3 years ago. It's taken a lot of (daily) readjustment over the last year to survive, live, or attempt to grow in our new reality of phone screens, monitor screens, and tv screens. For our safety and for everyone else's, we have tried to pivot our work, school, socializing, entertainment, and shopping onto our screen sized worlds.

Things we took for granted like commuting, interacting, and fresh air are now made into intentional efforts that need to be sought. Relationships with friends and acquaintances that were more a matter of proximity and routine have been tested through this adjustment, too. 

In a lot of ways, existing and interacting this way is unnatural. Alas, the late stage capitalism we are all doing our best to navigate through here in the U.S. managed to prioritize business over the health and well being of its citizens. 

So how to cope?

Exercise is important, the kind where you get your heart beat really pumping. If you're able to break a sweat, even better. 60 minutes is ideal if you really want to go for gold, but even 15-20 minutes gets you on the leaderboard. 

Whichever your approach, you will be better for it. 

Aside from weekly FaceTime and video chats with loved ones, it's equally important to be elastic. Elastic like the waistband of your favorite sweats. Comforting, accommodating of your circumstance and of your waist circumference. 

If you're able to readjust your expectations for yourself and others during these times, it could bolster your resilience for the inevitable and unpredictable nature of the future.

Readjustment can look and feel like releasing control, like ending a guessing game between yourself and the events that may or may not play out. 

You don't have to be self-compassionate to be compassionate towards others, but it's good practice. 

Self-compassion is a good way to cope, at least a good place to start. It can feel like the sun warming your skin. It can sound like congratulating yourself quietly for something seemingly small. It can be a brief moment of genuine honest exchange over the screen with a loved one. It could be admitting you're afraid, tired, anxious and then caring for yourself carefully during those moments.

There is no need to pretend to have it figured out and there's no weakness in admitting how difficult things have been. Choosing to be honest about what we think and feel is a way to cope with this reality. Naming things for what they are instead of placating and minimizing them

There is no need to pretend to have it figured out and there's no weakness in admitting how difficult things have been. Choosing to be honest about what we think and feel is a way to cope with this reality. Naming things for what they are instead of placating and minimizing them is empowering. It's easier to give these thoughts and feelings the space they need to wash over. To reinforce our ideas of control we have to exercise them too.