What I've Learned From Growing Up And Mistakes You Should Avoid Too

Sharing my lessons from the past and what I've learned from adulthood to help others feeling afraid or overwhelmed.

It can be rough transitioning into adulthood. You have to take on more responsibility, and figure some stuff out as you go. This is why I want to share my experiences, and what I learned from them to help anyone else out who feels lost.

I was always excited to get older when I was younger. I thought it meant more freedom, but that's not necessarily true. At times I was overwhelmed and on the verge of tearing my hair out. But I am thankful for those experiences, because I grew from those experiences, and now I can share what I learned with others.

friends joined in sunset
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Here are the mistakes you should avoid while growing up:

1. Make sure your roommates are people you trust

If you're going to living with someone, and entrusting them around your things, of course you want to make sure you trust them. Sometimes, even if we think we know someone, they can turn out to be completely different once you start living with them.

While this is mostly common sense, I didn't realize until after the fact just how important it is. The first time I moved out on my own, I lived with several people who were more like acquaintances to me. Things would go missing, and I would notice my mail ended up in my hands already opened. 

2. It's okay to be selfish sometimes

If you needed a sign to take time to focus on yourself, here it is. If you're always worrying about what everyone is doing, you'll end up leaving out the most important person to worry about, yourself. 

I spent so much time guilt-tripping myself for kicking toxic people out of my life, or taking time for myself. I stressed myself out for nothing. Sometimes you have to take time to focus on yourself, and do what you need to do. That doesn't necessarily mean taking a bubble bath while you ignore someone blowing up your phone, but it's okay to be selfish if you're working on bettering yourself and achieving a goal.

3. Get organized

Make a routine, plan things out. It helps immensely. For instance, think about physique models and bodybuilders. They maintain their physique not by just eating healthy and working out, but rather by being consistent with their diet and exercise. 

When I didn't have a routine, I was finding myself going to sleep at 5 in the morning and waking up sometime late in the afternoon. I was also struggling with how to prioritize and manage my time. Personally, I like to use my phone to help me stick with my routine. I use a planning app that lets me add tasks, and then check them off as completed.

4. Have money saved up

Yet another lesson that seems like common sense, but is often forgotten about. Money emergencies can sneak up on you fast. Which is why you should have a safety net in place should they occur.

When I first moved out on my own, things were more expensive than I had anticipated. So I found often found myself having to take money out of my bank account. I'm thankful that I had the money to take out in the first place, otherwise I would've been in trouble. Even if it's a small amount like $40, you need to have something saved up for emergencies. 

5. This too shall pass

Yes, it's a cliché, but one that rings true for many things. When you're experiencing heartbreak after a break-up, or feeling dismayed because you didn't get the job you wanted, whatever the case may be; it'll pass.

I find this sentiment comforting to focus on when I'm feeling stressed or bummed out. It also keeps me from doing something I'll regret because I reflect on the transience of what I'm feeling.

6. Therapy is wonderful

Therapy is beneficial to everyone, whether you experience mental illness or not. The beauty of therapy is that you can express yourself honestly with someone who won't judge you.

I had somehow cultivated this idea in my mind that if I needed therapy I had "lost" at life. I was a person who believed in roughing things out, and doing my best to bottle any painful feelings. The thing about bottling things up though, is that you only have so much space in that bottle before everything spills out, and you become an overwhelmed mess. There were certain situations that I had been agonizing about, but like magic, once my therapist suggested that I needed to let go of them, I did. It was as if my mind already wanted to, but I needed that extra push.

7. You probably worry too much

Unless you are worrying about something that could have a catastrophic outcome, it's probably not worth the time you spend dwelling on it. Negativity bias causes us to obsess about our often improbable fears.

In my case, I had a huge fear of driving, especially to places I've never driven to before. I would spend so much time torturing myself worrying about things like getting into an accident, or missing the turn. I spend a long time studying the route to make sure I would remember, even though I would look at the directions while driving anyway. As I became more comfortable driving, I realized that it was ridiculous to be so worried in the first place because I was a decent driver.

The bottom line here is that adulthood isn't so scary once you get the hang of it, and I hope that these lessons ring true for you over time.

Just a night owl and podcast nerd who loves to write.

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