How To Reclaim Your Self Worth

How do you feel about yourself? No really, how DO you feel about yourself?

Do you fully appreciate your true beautiful divine nature? Your skills, your personality?

Ideally, a sense of high self worth is a frame of mind that enables you to know and appreciate your strengths, overcome your weaknesses and feel good about the person that you are and your life.

If you have a low sense of self worth here are some warning signs to look out for;

· You struggle to set personal boundaries

· You let others walk over or mistreat you

· You suffer from frequent self-doubt

· You’re too hard on yourself

· You struggle to accept love from others

· You can’t accept compliments

· You always put others’ needs above your own

· You aim low in jobs and relationships

· You value other people’s opinions more than your own

· You are anxious around other people

· You are scared of sharing your own authenticity

If you see yourself in this list it may be an indicator that you have room to grow by readjusting your personal value system and views on self. 

It is inherent human nature to judge ourselves based on the thoughts, opinions and actions of those around us. How others act towards us ultimately is our indicator of how great or how terrible we are. But that is also the biggest trap!

You may be relying a little bit too much on others opinions to really appreciate yourself as much as you deserve. 

The truth is it may not be the case that we are not good enough, but rather, that we are trapped in a series of adopted beliefs. 

What are adopted beliefs?

Lets examine this in the form of a thought experiment. Lets say you open a free cake stand on a busy street. 

How many people do you suppose will stop and take a slice? Would you expect every single person to stop, take a piece and thank you for it? 

The truth is, more people will walk past you than would stop to enjoy the delicious treat. 

Some people will thank you and will be grateful for the meal and you will have made their day. 

Others will ask if it is dairy or gluten free, if it has eggs; and decline. 

Others still may take a bit, screw up their face and drop it and walk away. 

Now ask yourself, are you the kind of person that will focus on the negative feedback, or on the ones that stopped and appreciated the gift? 

If your focus is more on those who didn't appreciate what you offered, then you may just be adopting their needs as a measure of your own inherent value while missing the good you have to offer. 

It is perfectly natural to expect the most of ourselves but in reality it is simply unobtainable to reach 100% approval from others. What is more attainable is approving of yourself. Noticing the ways in which you have a positive impact on the lives of those you can reach rather than on those that you do not. 

Here are some things to think about moving forward. Do you appreciate every person that happens across your path? Does every person you meet have value to you?

Often this is not the case, but this does not diminish their value nor should it. But like everybody else they may not fit into your own unique and wonderful life so it is natural to not invite them in. 

Quite often we will burn ourselves out seeking approval from others, but perhaps you should offer more to those that need your help and less to those that do not. In doing this you can reclaim your energy and your time. It is the blessing of having a higher level of self esteem that you move away from needing the approval of anyone but yourself. When we do this, we break the negative feedback cycle that has us forever chasing our tails. 

Here are 5 steps that you can take to change negative self belief patterns into something that can give you a fresh new perspective;

Step 1: Dismantle False limiting beliefs

Take a pen and paper and write down all of your 'negative' character traits. 

On that same list, put a cross through all of these traits that you have heard from feedback of other people. These are the learned negative self beliefs and they rarely serve us. 

Next to each of the remaining traits, write the opposite. For example next to lazy put active! This will be your new set of goals to focus on in the future.

Step 2: Examine what you appreciate about other people 

Likewise take some time to reflect on some of the things you really admire about your friends or loved ones. What is it about them that really excites you? What makes them seem wonderful to you? Make sure to write them all down. These mirror your own ideal self, things to strive for in your own life. 

Step 3: Rediscover your own values and traits

Examine that list and see how many of those same traits you already share. This might require a little more open thinking, and a battle with the little monster inside of you that wants to stop you from really appreciating how wonderful you actually are. Expand on this by adding other traits that you feel you have that others may not have recognized. Remember just because you have it, doesn’t mean the people around you will notice. 

Step 4: Reflect on the positive feedback you have received from others

I want you now to put a tick next to each of your positive traits that you have heard good feedback on in the past. Take your time with this, it might surprise you how many there really are. If you feel that your positive traits have not been generally acknowledged try to think of times you used those traits to help others and it made a difference for them. Rarely we get to tick every box.

Step 5: Reclaim your power

The final step is to have a look at all of the positive feedback you have received over the years and understand that you have provided real value to people. Look over the list of traits that you could improve that may be affecting your positive self image. The real key in reclaiming your own power 

is by determining your own value and deciding to seek to learn from the mistakes of the past. While feedback from others can be important it should not be the central measure of your self worth. 

People that we meet each have different needs and not every need is something that you can provide. Understanding this is empowering, because you see that it doesn't take away from your value. Not every person is a mechanic and not every person has a broken car. But it is important that we all have our different abilities because that makes up a free and balanced society! 

When you reclaim your sense of self worth, and act accordingly you have far more value to offer the world. A little self love goes a long way!