Parental Absence What Impact Might This Have On Children’s Behaviour And Attitudes?

1. Parental effects on children's behaviour and attitudes

Families have changed drastically since the 1970s and the impact that this has had on children has been greatly debated. Most of this debate has been about the effects of parental separation or divorce on children. The UK has an estimated 2.86 million single parents living who are raising children completely on their own. Children can adjust to being raised by one parent in different ways as some will not this deter the course of their lives and go on to be successful. Whereas others will sometimes engage in troubling or dangerous behaviour such as psychological disturbances, teen pregnancy, unsafe sexual behaviour and committing crimes.

The research available on fatherless children tend to focus a lot on its effect on girls. Girls who grew up in fatherless homes tend usually have behaviours which include, sexual promiscuousness, increased rates of pregnancy, early sexual contact and struggle to form steady long term relationships. The most visible effects being detected in girls who had an absent father from an early age (Belsky et al.,1991).

Society is often of the perspective that individuals often seek the love they did not get from their father or mother from their future partners. These individuals may also grow up to be in turbulent relationships and experience low self-esteem because of being abandoned as a young child. People who are abandoned at a young age may ask themselves questions such as Why did he not love me?, Why was I not good enough?, Did I do something wrong, Why am I so easy to leave?. This can extend to their other relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships.

People who are afraid of abandonment because of being left by one or both of their parents also sometimes end relationships prematurely for fear of being left again, therefore their mindset can be one of: let me leave you before you leave me.

2. Three family theoretical perspectives:

There are three theoretical perspectives on families and how it impacts their children. The most common is the family environment model, this theory is of the perspective that many single-parent families, are not ideal surroundings for children to socialise and develop. Exposure to these environments can increase the possibility of a range of issues arising. 

The second theoretical standpoint is the passive generic model, this theory is when children's behaviours are linked to the gene from their parents which passes to them. Parents that have challenging personality characteristics, like 'neuroticism' or an inclination to engage in antisocial behaviour; which mean that there is a bigger chance that these parents pass their negative traits to their biological children, which are more likely to have problems in their adult life.

The third and final theoretical perspective is the child's effect model; (Amato & Cheadle, 2008) this theory challenges the standard family environment model, this theory is when the child and parents role is inverted for instance the child's behaviour brings out an aggressive trait in the parent which will affect their behaviour with others because of their antisocial behaviour. 

3. Mental Health link to absent fathers

Mental health issues have been linked to contributing to children's emotional difficulties, which can include depression and anxiety. Fatherless children may feel inadequate compared to children who have their fathers present in their lives. They could start thinking about why their dad abandoned them and this may pose a higher risk of self-injury or committing suicide as a result.

Girls who were aged between 1-5 were more likely to develop depression; interestingly however girls with fathers that left later in their childhood were not at an increased risk of depression and no increase could be found for boys with absent fathers.

4. Gangs and their link to lone parenthood

Gangs have been found in different studies to have a link to absent fathers as found in a report (Beckford,2019). Absent fathers have a big influence on the behaviour of young people who commit crime, do drugs and get involved in gangs. The report took place after three teenagers were fatally stabbed in Croydon; the study that was conducted by experts explored the lives of 60 vulnerable teenagers in South London, which found that three quarters of them were not living in the same household as their dad.

The study also found that a lot of the youngsters who committed crime, used drugs or alcohol which they may have learnt from a parent as viewed as acceptable behaviour. Domestic abuse also impacted on a child's behaviour and relationship with persons of authority. 

A large percentage of gang members come from fatherless backgrounds (Davidson,1990), this could be because of finding somewhere where they feel they belong or because of being preyed on for not having a father figure therefore being deemed as vulnerable and naive by gang leaders. Gangs can give youths a false sense of belonging, community and acceptance. Furthermore, members of gangs may view a gang leader as an authority figure such as a father, which often results in gang members trying to mirror the behaviours and actions of their gang leader (Leaving, 2009). The presence of a present father may decrease the chances of a young person joining a gang.

5. A personal note: My Perspective 

The research touched on a lot of different links that have been associated to lone parent households and the immature actions of their parents. Throughout writing this article, I thought about where to place myself upon this debate.

I grew up in a single parent household and I did not have a strong bond with my father however I do not feel that this had an impact on who I became as an adult. I also am not of the the perspective that having a parent that is not present having a substantial effect on my decisions, although possibly it may have made me more vulnerable when it came to other relationships. The presence of my mother who gave me enough love, nurture and cared for me, in the absence of my father meant I never yarned for the affection of my father.

During childhood, some children may act up for not having a active father but as they grow up, I think their decisions are not just shaped by their parents but also by the other difficulties they may go through such as illness, break-ups and bullying which would also have a negative effect on their decisions and on their outlooks on life.

The parent that takes responsibility for raising the child can only do so much, but we must remember that this parent is the most important one as this parent usually gives and teaches love, understanding, compassion and anything else a child needs. Each child adapts differently to having an absent parent; therefore, it is important to keep a close eye on each child's psychological well being and check in with the child to see how they are feeling and to let that child know that they are loved, cared about and they are not worth less because their father or mother left them.

It is also crucial to ensure that children have high self-esteem throughout their development as this will carry them through life to their future relationships, friendships, education and places of employment.

Finally, a parent and child relationship should be based on friendship and trust so that they feel comfortable talking to the parent about any difficulties they are experiencing, or if needed seek counselling with professional services for children such as Childline. It is also important to make time for leisure with your child whether it be through activities in the home such as drawing or outdoors outing such as park or cinema to make them feel valued and less isolated, because the way you raise them will help shape their future.

References:

1. Amato & Cheadle. (2008) citied in Fluori, E (2010) 'Fathers behaviours and children's behaviours problems' 

2.  Beckford, M. (2019) 'Absent fathers have a 'significant impact' on behaviour of young people caught in crime, drugs and gangs- Dailymail

3. Belsky, J. (1991) 'Childhood Experience, interpersonal development, and reproductive strategy: An evolutionary theory of socialization. Child Development',62, 647-670.

4.  Clark, (2021) 'Number of single parent families in the UK 1996-2020

5. Davidson, N (1990) 'Life without father' Policy review, cited in Brown, J, Minnesota Psychological Association

6. Leaving, J. (2009) 'Absent fathers & youth violence cited in Brown, J. Minnesota Productions