What To Talk About And What Not To Talk About On The First Date?

What to talk about and what not to talk about on the first date?

Who does not want a nearly –perfect first date? Or at least, how to have the least- embarrassing first date?  Most of it depends on how the talk goes.  Rather than talking about some random topics, it is always better to get prepared with some topics.  Because we want to know more about the guy and we want to impress the guy as well.  We all have gone through that phase many times. So, what would we talk about on our first date? Each person may have a set of topics that they consider safe, which they consider less embarrassing. If you are clueless, here are some topics which are safe. For the sake of convenience, we can divide a date into three stages.

Stage 1:- a formal starting

It is always better to start with some formal conversations to break the ice.

1.       Start with a thank you:- you can start the conversation with thanks for inviting the date or accepting the invitation. Though this is an essential manner, there are a lot of benefits. This might work as an ice breaker, in most cases.  And it shows that you are really interested to meet this person. It also helps the other person to get rid of nervousness. You can also talk about why you are interested to meet this person.

2.       Give a compliment:- please have a look at the person and say directly what you like about him/her. At least praise his/her clothes. This makes your partner more comfortable. But you do not need to give false flattery. Be honest throughout your talk.

3.       Self-introduction:- you need to talk about yourself. You just give a rough introduction about your place, your family, education, job, etc. There is no need to give an elaborated life history about yourself. Some basic details about you are enough. You should have an idea of what to say and what to hide. But do not make it a boring story. Add some fun elements and jokes. You can also ask about the other person. It shows you are a good listener too. If the other person does not reveal much, respect his/her privacy.

4.       Talk about your job:- this is a kind of continuation of self - introduction. Give a vague picture of your job or what are you up to at that point. You can give some details about your company, coworkers, nature of work, etc. But I do not want you to talk about office gossips, your workload, etc. Since this is the first date, just give a happy picture of your work life.

At the end of this stage, you might be comfortable with each other. If you find a connection with each other, you can start talking about anything under the sun. If you do not find a connection still, here are some more topics:-

1.       Your dream:-  you can talk about your goal in life. You do not need to talk about all your short term goals and long term goals. Talk about just one dream which you do not mind sharing.

2.       Hobby:- if you have a hobby, give a glimpse of that. If the other person is really interested, you can explain it. OR

Your favorite movie/ book/place/ food/ song:-  yes, you need to talk about one of these or all of these. It is totally up to you. There is always a chance of explaining this topic or switch to another topic. At the same time do not forget to ask about the other person’s favorite hobbies.

These topics will reveal some more about you. Hopefully, you will get more details about the other person too. By the end of this stage, you can decide whether to sign up for a second date or not.  So stage three is where you talk about your decision.

Stage three:-

·       Decide the next date:- if both of you are happy with each other, just decide the date and venue of the next meeting. OR

·       Say thanks and leave:-  if this is not the right person, you do not spend any more time. Just leave the place by saying thanks. The right person might be waiting for you somewhere.    

These are some topics you can talk about on your first date. But you do not need to stick on this list itself. You can tweak it according to your situation. Or, if the other person wants to talk about something else, go with that. And at the same time, you do not need to talk all the time. You can be a good listener too, sometimes. For a great conversation, you need listening skills as well. You should also remember that more than the topics, there are some manners you should keep throughout the date. The first one is to talk and listen simultaneously. Secondly, try to have eye contact with the person while talking and listening. Thirdly, you should have an idea about what not to talk about.

What not to talk about:- there are some topics which you are not supposed to talk about on your first date. You do not need to reveal all your personal life. You need to choose carefully what to speak and what not to talk about. And it is important to not talk about sensitive issues. Here are some examples:-

·       Past relationships- you are supposed to be honest. But do not confess about your past relationships. If you want, you can talk about it later.

·       Negative comments:- no negative comments about the other person. You do not want to sound rude, right?

·       Self-praise:- talk about yourself. But do not give much emphasis on your achievements and victories. You can talk about it later.

These are some of the topics you need to keep in mind while going for the first date. But always keep in mind to be honest.  Honesty is the basis of all relationships. So be honest while you talk. You try to be yourself and don’t try hard to impress the other.