8 Significant Signs You Might Be Non-binary

Gender is a weird and confusing thing that not all of us can relate to. Many people identify as non binary, neither male nor female, but how do you know if you're non-binary or not?

Sawyer Inserra

lifestyle · 6 min

To put it very simply, if you are looking at this with genuine curiosity, then you most likely are non-binary. The fact that you're questioning it is a very good sign that you are. Now, just because I've said this doesn't mean you have to agree. Gender is entirely up to you. It is your decision; it is how you feel.

However, because you are looking this question up, it means that you are not sure, so I will try to help you. I've been where you are before; I've even looked it up myself when I was questioning. Because I know what you're going through, I will tell you how I came about knowing that I was non-binary.

How I Knew I Was Non-binary

I wasn't necessarily a tomboy growing up, but I wasn't a very girly girl either. This didn't mean much to me when I was little because I didn't know that gender was a fluid thing; I didn't know there were more than two genders.

It was the beginning of my sophomore year in high school when I started questioning. I'd cut my hair short, and that's when I started feeling...different. I asked my sister, who had also cut her hair short before me - if she had started questioning her gender after cutting her hair. When she said "no," I realized that there might be something there. It took me a few months to conclude that nonbinary was the proper identification for me. I thought at first that I was maybe gender fluid, but I didn't feel like a boy or a girl ever.

It doesn't matter when you start questioning, I didn't start until high school, but maybe you're a bit younger or a bit older. That's completely fine. You are still valid. Gender is a weird thing, and sometimes you don't realize that until later in life.

There is no right or wrong with gender; it's a very fluid thing. I want to start by saying that if you decide you are nonbinary, that's great! Good for you. If you feel that nonbinary is not the correct identity for you in a year or so, then that is entirely ok. If you change your mind or realize that something's not right, there is nothing wrong with that.

I often find myself asking if I'm faking it or not. Am I faking it for attention? Am I just trying to be cool and different? If you're asking this question, I can almost 100% assure you that you are not faking it.

Now, let's get to it.

Here are 8 signs that can help you determine if you are non-binary.

1. You're Questioning your gender

Like I said before, if you are questioning your gender, it is a very good sign that you might be nonbinary (or whatever other gender you may be questioning you are). The fact that you're questioning your gender is a sign that you might be nonbinary because it proves that there's something there. If you were just cisgender (being the gender you were assigned at birth), you wouldn't be having these thoughts in the first place.

2. You Feel More Comfortable Dressing Androgynous

Dressing androgynous means dressing gender-neutral, not feminine or masculine. If you feel more comfortable when you dress like this, then you might be nonbinary. Dressing androgynous may give you that feeling of no gender, and that's what being nonbinary is all about; no gender, just you.

3. You Don't Feel Comfortable Using he/him or she/her Pronouns

You've been used to being called she/her or he/him for your whole life, but is it now becoming uncomfortable for you? When others use these pronouns when referring to you, do you cringe and become uncomfortable? I realized this when I was first figuring out for myself whether or not I was nonbinary. I felt a lot more comfortable when people used they/them when referring to me. I first told this to my best friend, who started using those pronouns for me, and that's when it hit me that those pronouns were definitely for me.

This is a good sign that you might be nonbinary because pronouns are a significant indicator of who you are. If you are comfortable using she/her or he/him pronouns, but also they/them pronouns as well, you may still be nonbinary.

4. You Don't Identify as Your Birth Sex

If you don't feel comfortable living as the gender you were assigned at birth; this is another good sign that you might be nonbinary. Living as the gender that you were assigned at birth is called being cisgender, but if you don't feel this way, then you are most likely genderqueer in some way (whether that be transgender, gender fluid, nonbinary, etc.).

5. You Feel a Connection With Non-binary Artists

Artists like Sam Smith, Ezra Miller, and Demo Lovato have all come out as nonbinary or genderqueer. If you really look up to someone who is nonbinary and you feel a connection with them then that might be a sign you are nonbinary.

6. You Don't Quite Feel Like You're Transgender but You Don't Quite Feel Like You're Cisgender Either

You may have a slight feeling that you may be transgender, but this could also be a part of you that tells you otherwise. This is ok. If you feel in between genders then you may be genderqueer whether that be genderfluid or nonbinary or something else.

7. You Genuinely Want to Be

If you want to be nonbinary, then you can be nonbinary. Simply wanting to be nonbinary is quite a significant sign that you might be. If you genuinely feel and want to be nonbinary, then you are; end of the story.

8. You're Reading This Article

Like I said at the beginning of this article, if you're here reading this with genuine curiosity then that is a good sign you are nonbinary.

If you don't relate to any of these signs, that doesn't mean you aren't nonbinary. There are many different signifiers and feelings that can prove that you may be nonbinary; this list is not the final list, but a few good suggestions for you.

Also, if you decide that you want to identify as nonbinary, but you don't want to change the way you dress or the way you look, that is completely ok. Your look doesn't make you nonbinary; it's you who makes you nonbinary. It's an identity and not a physical appearance. If you have long hair and look generally female but identify as nonbinary, then you are nonbinary. This is the same for if you look masculine. It doesn't matter how you look; if you identify as nonbinary, as I said, you are nonbinary.

Gender is all up to you. You are the only person that can dictate how you identify.

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Opinions and Perspectives

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GratefulHeartVibes 3 years ago

This kind of resource would have been so helpful when I was younger and questioning.

Lemon_Live 3 years ago

Surprised by how much I identified with the author's personal story.

Erica-Ball 3 years ago

Would have liked to see more about how non-binary identity intersects with different age groups and life stages.

MidnightWarrior 3 years ago

Sometimes I feel like I need permission to identify as non-binary. This article reminds me that I don't.

BurningSoul 3 years ago

The emphasis on personal choice and self-determination really resonated with me.

HyggeLifestyle 3 years ago

I'm grateful for articles like this that help people understand themselves better.

LevelUp_Lifestyle_19 3 years ago

Helpful to see that doubt and questioning are normal parts of the journey.

OwenMitchell 3 years ago

The article could have addressed the challenges of dating while non-binary.

AliceGrant 3 years ago

I relate to feeling different after a physical change like a haircut. Sometimes external changes help us recognize internal truths.

Gabriel_59 3 years ago

Finding the right words to describe your gender can be so challenging. This article helped me understand why.

Kit_Commentary 3 years ago

It's good they mentioned that presentation doesn't determine identity, but society still puts so much pressure on us.

MelissaCreates 3 years ago

The section about wanting to be non-binary really validated my feelings. I kept thinking I needed some sort of proof.

Lang_Ledger 3 years ago

Wonder if others struggle with family acceptance like I do, even after figuring out their identity.

HighVibe_Tribe_07 3 years ago

I appreciate that they mentioned multiple times that gender identity is a personal journey.

SacredSelf_Care_111 3 years ago

The article could have discussed more about non-binary people in different cultures and traditions.

Poniewozik_Post 3 years ago

This explains why I never felt comfortable in strictly gendered spaces growing up.

WellnessNourished 3 years ago

Interesting how they mentioned gender fluidity but didn't really explore it in depth.

ThriveWithJoy 3 years ago

Really needed to hear that bit about not faking it. I constantly doubt myself despite knowing who I am.

Hayden-Ford 3 years ago

The mental health aspects of gender questioning could have been addressed more thoroughly.

Sasha_McCoy 3 years ago

I wonder how many people reading this are like me, just starting to question things.

NeonProphetX 3 years ago

It's refreshing to see an article that doesn't pressure people to look or act a certain way to be valid.

MindfulMovement 3 years ago

The article makes some good points but seems to oversimplify the complexity of gender identity.

Oliver_Opinion 3 years ago

I wish there was more discussion about navigating relationships as a non-binary person. That's been the hardest part for me.

Clara_Bailey 3 years ago

The validation of later-in-life questioning was important. I always felt behind for not knowing earlier.

JoelleM 3 years ago

My journey started similar to the author's but went in a completely different direction. There's no one-size-fits-all.

InfinitePossibilities 3 years ago

Anyone else feel like their understanding of being non-binary has evolved over time?

Liana-Wright 3 years ago

I found it helpful that they mentioned the difference between gender expression and identity. Took me ages to understand that.

MeadowS 3 years ago

The article should have addressed the medical aspects of being non-binary. Some of us pursue physical transitions too.

SavannahB 3 years ago

Yes! I experience that too. Some days my gender identity feels very present, other days it's barely noticeable.

April-Moody 3 years ago

Does anyone else fluctuate between feeling strongly non-binary some days and less so on others?

Everly_J 3 years ago

I think the article could have mentioned more about the challenges of coming out as non-binary in professional settings.

Tapper_Talk 3 years ago

The pronoun section really helped me. I never understood why certain pronouns made me uncomfortable until now.

Hope99 3 years ago

I relate to not feeling girly or like a tomboy growing up. It was more like being somewhere else entirely on the spectrum.

PenelopeXo 3 years ago

It's interesting how the article mentions physical appearance isn't important, yet so many people feel pressure to look a certain way.

GraceMiller 3 years ago

Not sure about number 8. Just reading about something doesn't necessarily mean you identify that way.

MindfulMoves 3 years ago

I appreciate how the article acknowledges that changing your mind about your identity is okay. That helped reduce my anxiety about exploring this.

Aria_Sky92 3 years ago

The article seems to assume everyone has access to the language and concepts of gender identity. That's not true for many communities.

CalebNguyen 3 years ago

I wish there was more discussion about the intersection of being non-binary and other aspects of identity.

SynthFutureX 3 years ago

Anyone else feel validation from reading this? It's nice to know others have similar experiences.

MindfulDecluttering 3 years ago

The part about feeling fake really spoke to me. I constantly worry I'm not non-binary enough or that I'm somehow making it up.

Manifest_Magic_365 3 years ago

Sometimes basic is what people need when they're first questioning. Not everyone starts with a deep academic understanding.

VibrantEclipse 3 years ago

I found the article a bit basic. It doesn't address the cultural and historical context of non-binary identities across different societies.

Cora_Light 3 years ago

Can we talk about how gender expression doesn't equal gender identity? I'm glad the article touched on this near the end.

Talia_Dusk 3 years ago

The section about not feeling completely transgender or cisgender really helped me understand my feelings better. I've always felt in between.

KaitlynX 3 years ago

I struggle with the idea that questioning automatically means something. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just overthinking everything.

Maher_Musings 3 years ago

You're never too old to discover yourself! I came out as non-binary at 45 and it was the most liberating experience of my life.

Ignatius_Insights 3 years ago

The article could have mentioned age more. I didn't start questioning until my 30s and sometimes feel like I'm too old for this journey.

Will_Writings 3 years ago

Totally understand that feeling. I present masculine most days but that doesn't make my identity any less valid. It's about how you feel inside.

AlignYourSoul 4 years ago

Does anyone else feel frustrated by the pressure to look androgynous? I'm comfortable presenting feminine while being non-binary.

ZekeT 4 years ago

I wish the article had discussed more about the physical dysphoria some non-binary people experience. It focused mainly on social aspects.

MaciB 4 years ago

Actually, I think the artist connection point makes sense. Sometimes seeing someone living authentically helps us recognize aspects of ourselves.

TheBalancedMind 4 years ago

The part about connecting with non-binary artists feels a bit superficial to me. I can admire Sam Smith's music without it reflecting my gender identity.

JonahEats 4 years ago

While I understand the sentiment, I worry that saying wanting to be non-binary means you are might oversimplify a complex journey of self-discovery.

HaleyWanders 4 years ago

I found it refreshing that the article mentions you can still use traditional pronouns and be non-binary. Labels shouldn't be so restrictive.

ElectricSoul 4 years ago

The personal story about the haircut really struck me. I had a similar experience when I cut my hair short last year. It was like something clicked into place.

Daphne99 4 years ago

You make a fair point but I think the article is suggesting that questioning opens the door to exploring identity rather than definitively meaning someone is non-binary.

PlantBased-Joy_99 4 years ago

The point about questioning being a sign itself is interesting but I'm not sure I agree. Sometimes people question their gender and conclude they are cis.

Limbaugh_Lines 4 years ago

I appreciate how the article emphasizes that there's no right or wrong way to be non-binary. It took me years to accept that I didn't need to look androgynous to be valid.

Renee-Summers 4 years ago

This article really resonates with me. I've been questioning my gender identity for months and the part about feeling uncomfortable with traditional pronouns hit close to home.