The Key To Satisfaction After Being Let Down By A Loved One

Tired of being let down? Here's how to change that and live a happier and more satisfying life.
Learn to let go of expectations. Image source: Chris Romans

Have you ever had a friend whom you loved with all your heart, until the time they let you down? You must’ve felt betrayed and hurt, anyone would. But why did it create such strong emotions in you? What can you do to avoid ever having to go through it again? Learn how to live a satisfactory life with healthy relationships.

What Causes You To Be Disappointed in Someone

To be let down, you need to have your hopes up first. If you have been deceived, it means you had expectations, to begin with. It’s important to draw a line between what is common sense, and what are the expectations you set yourself.
Here’s an example: Your friend picks you up to go shopping together. Common sense expects her/him to arrive on time and not cancel without good reason. Your expectations might expect her/him to arrive with a coffee they picked up for you on the way from that coffee shop they know you like. Although that would be very nice of them, this is where you go too far.
Humans have free will. We all have different minds and different ways of thinking and have all been raised differently. Therefore, one simply cannot expect another unpredictable human to think of the same thing as them. The chances of it happening are pretty low, which puts you at high risk for disappointment, which could later damage your relationships.

What To Do To Stop Being Deceived By Others

Change your way of thinking. Instead of thinking of nice things you wish others would do, try to find kind things you could do for them. The only person you have control over is yourself. Trying to get other people to do things will only get your hopes up, and you will be let down because it just won’t work.
Analyze your thinking pattern and try to find where you go wrong. Cut off unreasonable expectations. By doing this, you will be more reasonable in your expectations of others.
If you do nice things for them instead, you will feel great satisfaction because you’ll feel like you’re being a good friend. And who knows, they might want to repay your kindness and surprise you with something nice in return.
It can only be a surprise if you didn’t expect it first.

How Lowering Your Expectations Of Others Will Help Your Relationships

Thinking this way does not make you a bad or selfish person. We all do this. But in reality, we set ourselves up for failure.
However, you might notice a reoccurring pattern in your expectations. Could it be a manifestation of an unfulfilled need? Or an unfulfilled wish?
Depending on what it is, you need to ask yourself if the other person is responsible.
If not, do not make them carry the weight of your struggles needlessly. Don’t push it upon them to fix it. That would be unfair to them since they can’t know what you’re thinking.
If yes, calmly explain how you’re feeling to them. Give them a chance to make it up to you before you decide to shut them out. They might have no idea you’re hurting, and you may need to tell them how they can help. Be patient with them and trust their goodwill.
Of course, some people also just don’t know how to properly treat others. In this case, you should not let someone mistreat you. You deserve better.

Learn To Be The One Who Gives To Others First

Thinking of other people’s needs first can be quite a challenge because you can’t read their minds. But part of being a good friend is knowing your friends well. Learn what they like and what makes them feel good. Observe their reaction to different gestures and events. You’ll be able to have a pretty good idea of what you can do to make them happy.
This may come naturally to some, and others might need to put more effort into it. Either way, the fact that you’re trying already guarantees you’re doing the right thing. With some practice, one day, it will become second nature.
We live in a world that teaches us to think of ourselves first, which is the easy thing to do, it’s true. And although taking care of ourselves is important, living a less self-centered life is far more satisfactory. People around you might notice the changes in you and chances are you’ll be an even more enjoyable person to be with.
You’ll notice that all your needs and desires will be better satisfied if you focus on giving first. As they say, “What goes around comes around”.

Why You Should Try To Change What You Expect Of Others

Although the way you act may change a little, most of the changes happen inside your mind. This may make it a difficult process since you can’t just press a few buttons and have it be done. Prepare for setbacks and don’t let them discourage you. As we’ve mentioned before, the fact that you’re making the effort is already so much.
Other people choose the easy route but you’re choosing to take the harder route. But the destination will be better on your side. “Easy” does not always equal “Best”.
Many people have worked hard to get to where they are. Life isn’t always easy, but you need to decide what is most important and stick to it. That’s how you will accomplish your goals, better your relationships, and come to live a more satisfying life.

How To Change The Way You See Others

In order to succeed, you need to take it one step at a time.

1. Self-examination before you react

Start by taking time to yourself and assess the way you react in different situations. Identify the triggers and your main concerns. Be careful, there’s no need to be hard on yourself. If you want to be kind to others, you shouldn’t bring yourself down to do so.

2. Talk about your resolutions

Tell your friends and family about your new resolutions. By talking about it, you’ll also be able to learn more about them. Don’t be shy to ask them questions.

3. Take Action and keep practicing till you succeed

Now that you’ve gathered all this information, it’s time to get to work. Start doing nice things for others whenever you have the chance. You’ll find that your mind is bad at multitasking, and your focus will naturally change directions. You can do it!

To conclude, changing a whole mindset is not an easy thing, but it will certainly help you in the long run. Don't forget why you're doing it and you'll make it. Don't let the setbacks bring you down. It will definitely be worth all the effort in the end.

~ A young gal with a love for words ~ If I'm not writing, I'm reading, drawing, or playing the piano.

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