One Thing That Both Eases And Breaks My Heart
Cautionary advice: If you're going to read it, refrain to be judgemental.
Is it true that this haven in which we reside is only motivated by self-interest, or it is my cynical mind speaking? Is it that friends, strangers, neighbors, and even loved ones do things with quid pro quo in mind, or it is that I met some seriously ill people in life? Why is this ubiquitous GIVE and TAKE philosophy valid even in acts of kindness? Why is one taught that what goes around, comes around; which apparently becomes the reason why one is benevolent? Lastly, do people GIVE so they can TAKE?
This turmoil in my head started uncoiling when I first met you. The self-less, considerate, generous YOU! I then became capable to see through the black and white color of human nature. I don't remember us talking about any humans in our first meet, wasn't it aliens and the black hole we pondered about driving in the fancy streets of our city. I can imagine you snickering about that google maps failure which apparently suggested us 9 and 3 quarter wall (No kidding!). Hey, do you recall that dog house... Oh, how can I forget the frightened look on your face when spitz came leaping towards you!
From that very meeting, I knew that we are meant to be, meant to know each other, meant to be together on victories and failures, meant to share comforters, meant to debate about the best food outlet, meant to imagine unimaginable things! But I swear I never meant us to be so close, that someday a line would be drawn which would say THE END. Hypocrite alert?!
I knew the day has come when I started giving you a cold shoulder, ignoring your texts even when I was in the mood to connect also hiding stuff that really mattered. We have parted our ways for about a decade now. Oh boy! it seems like yesterday when you slouched over the couch to watch ZNMD for the 17th time, with the same excitement that Arjun had for skydiving. When I question the boundaries, I realize that it was the right thing that we could do. You had your guy who desired attention, I had my career goals that demanded separation. Was it me or you who addressed the elephant in the room and suggested that we take some time off? I guess definitely you, as it's always you who believe dialogue is better than awkward silence, while the brat I just go about pretending that nothing wrong ever happens with us.
One thing that both eases and breaks my heart is the relationship I had with you. I was at peace opening up to you, taking advice, planning victory parties but I never signed up to the fundamental changes our bond created inside me. You wished more time, I wondered a little more won't do harm... and in that many littles, I never realized that compromises, when burdened, leads to shattered walls. Expectations can be a big-time offender.
A note to future self: Know when to stop! Humans have a very fragile nature, when nurtured they bloom! It's always nice to have someone take good care of yourself. It might not always be about GIVING, be careful not to TAKE too much that one day you can't handle the weight of it, and you just break the shackles so bad, that there is no going back! NEVER, I repeat never change yourself to satisfy the whims and fantasies of others. And never do things that you don't want to do.
It's a happy world outside, step out, meet new people, learn and unlearn!
Yours,
wishing we took care of the first time
Ex-friend
Opinions and Perspectives
The way they describe that gradual emotional distancing is painfully accurate
I find it interesting how they question their own cynicism while being cynical
The ending note about learning and unlearning is powerful. Growth isn't always about adding things
This feels like a letter we've all wanted to write to someone at some point
The mention of ZNMD and those shared moments really brings the friendship to life
I appreciate how they don't villainize either person in the story. Sometimes things just don't work out
The internal struggle between maintaining independence and deep connection is so well portrayed
The advice about not taking too much is crucial. Relationships need balance to survive
Their writing style really captures the bittersweet nature of lost friendships
The line about expectations being an offender really hits hard. We often expect too much from others
Fascinating how they describe friendship as both easing and breaking their heart simultaneously
The message about knowing when to stop is important, but timing is everything
I wonder if their career goals were worth the sacrifice of this friendship in the end
The part about hiding stuff that really mattered really struck a chord. Communication is so crucial
Reading this makes me appreciate my own friendships more. We often take them for granted
The author seems to have learned some valuable lessons, even if they came at a high cost
I actually disagree about never doing things you don't want to do. Sometimes that's exactly what friendship requires
The way they describe that gradual drift apart feels so authentic. It's often the small things that lead to big changes
It's interesting how they mention compromises becoming burdens. Really makes you think about relationship dynamics
The cynicism about give and take in relationships seems a bit excessive. Not everything has ulterior motives
I love how they capture those small details like the frightened look with the dog. Makes it feel so real
The author seems to struggle with vulnerability. Pushing people away before they can get too close
Ten years is such a long time to carry these feelings. Shows how deep some friendships can impact us
The line about dialogue being better than awkward silence is something we all need to remember
Sounds like classic overthinking to me. Sometimes we need to just let relationships flow naturally
I'm struck by how they describe friendship as both healing and heartbreaking. It's so true
The self-awareness in this piece is refreshing. Not many people can admit their own shortcomings
This resonates with my experience of losing a close friend. Sometimes growth means growing apart
Anyone else curious about what happened to the other person in this story? Would love to hear their perspective
The metaphor about nurturing humans like flowers is beautiful. We really do need care to bloom
I appreciate how they acknowledged that both parties played a role in the friendship's end
The balance between giving and taking in relationships is tricky. It's not always black and white
Not sure I agree with the 'never change yourself' advice. Sometimes change leads to personal growth
Their description of those first meetings is so vivid. Makes me nostalgic about my own friendship beginnings
The part about pretending nothing's wrong hit close to home. I do that too instead of addressing issues
I wonder if the author really believes they can't go back. Ten years is a long time, but some friendships are worth rekindling
Interesting how they mention career goals versus relationships. Sometimes we have to make tough choices
The writing style feels so personal, almost like reading someone's diary. Makes you reflect on your own relationships
I disagree with the notion that all giving comes with expectations. Some people genuinely give without wanting anything in return
The advice about not taking too much is spot on. I learned this lesson the hard way in my own friendships
I love how they captured those early friendship moments, like watching ZNMD for the 17th time. We all have those special memories
That line about expectations being a big-time offender really resonated with me. I've seen so many friendships fall apart because of unmet expectations
The author seems to contradict themselves. They say never change for others, but isn't some level of compromise necessary in any relationship?
What strikes me most is how they acknowledge their own role in the relationship's end. It's rare to see such honest self-reflection
Anyone else catch the Harry Potter reference? Nice touch mixing it with a real-life story
The part about the Google Maps failure and 9 3/4 wall made me laugh. Those small moments often become our most precious memories
I feel torn about the author's perspective. While self-preservation is important, sometimes meaningful relationships require us to change and grow
This article really hits home. The way they describe that internal struggle between giving and taking in relationships is so relatable