How To Not Be Disappointed By Setbacks And Still Succeed

Life gives us many reasons to be disappointed, but just giving up isn't healthy.

From the moment someone is born, it becomes apparent that disappointment is just one of those things that will come along and give that person the middle finger for no discernible reason. As a result, many are accustomed to curling up in a Snuggie and binging Black Mirror, as if that'll solve all their problems.

How To Not Be Disappointed By Setbacks And Succeed
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Although this may be true and sound like a cure-all, moping your woes away will only send you further down that rabbit hole. If your friends and family see you struggling emotionally, moreover it may only weigh them down too, believing that none of their efforts can put some pep back in your step.

Without delay, the time to take action is ASAP. Though friends and family are a good emotional support pillar, you have to make changes in the present to get that boost of confidence you'll need to succeed in life.  

Here are 9 ways to avoid staying disappointed in a world that constantly tries to put down the honest and hardworking:

1. Don't let repeated setbacks deter you

don't let setbacks deter you

When one finishes college, they will be looking for employment, and it's more than likely applications will be sent out. Despite many efforts though, it is possible to will receive tens if not hundreds of rejections from potential employers. It's an uphill battle, even if one qualified for a particular position. 

To put it differently, when you receive an invitation for an interview, you have to ask yourself what exactly you can bring to the table. If the highlight of your success was being crowned prom king or queen, you're not going to get far. Rather, you should emphasize what it is that makes you the best candidate for the job based on who YOU are.

Think outside the box and go beyond just being dependable and time-oriented. That's exactly what employers will expect, and though your charisma will be beneficial in the moment, you're going to need more than that if you want the interviewer to think your presence is worth their time.

In addition to personality, you also need quality to back you up. Say you're applying for a writing job. If you think what's contained in your portfolio is garbage, who's to say the employer won't think so too? You can't go into an interview armed with duds and ill-equipped for the battle against other potential hires. 

Forewarned is forearmed, and if the correct steps to take along that bumpy road is known, then that's the preeminent step to alleviating the aches of disappointment. Then again, there's more one can do than simply take action.

2. Never assume the worst possible outcome

Never assume the worst possible outcome
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At the same time as facing challenges head-on, it's not worth getting bogged down by perceived fears that discontent is assured. This can demoralize any self-starter looking for his/her place in the world, and though it might seem easy to set aside such cancerous thinking, the subconscious naysayer's words can stick to and drag one down.

For the purpose of gaining employment, it's good to have a point of reference on what not to do, but also being knowledgeable on what landmines lie in wait is important too.

By and large, negativity is contagious, but just as it can make one feel shackled to their past failures, so too can it serve as a reminder to not give up and not be a quitter.

Rather than being weighed down by that "L,", take that loss as a lesson and learn from it. Self-reflection on past failures gives one the opportunity to contemplate what actions they could have taken in order to succeed. It's all baby steps until the goal is achieved, and if the towel is thrown in out of fear that even the grandest efforts are for not, then what's the point of trying?

3. Without a game plan, failure is inevitable

Without a game plan, failure is inevitable
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Provided that one has the knowledge and intentions on attaining their goals, they will still be in for a rude awakening if they proceed empty-handed. A game plan can help one to expect the unexpected, by picturing all the hypotheticals, rather than going in blind and being slipped up by things that were overlooked

For context, say you're leaving the house to get milk; did you check to see if your car has gas? What about that "check engine," light that's been blinking in the corner of the dashboard for the past week? If someone tries to head straight to their goal without thinking, things like that can be missed, leading to further difficulties. If you find yourself in that scenario, then there's really no point in crying over spilled milk.

spilling milk on your plan
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Although scenarios like these are upsetting, it's okay to throw a fit for a short while. Just don't dwell on what could've been, and instead view these experiences as an opportunity for improvement. Perhaps compadres can offer encouragement in such endeavors.

4. When all seems lost, turn to friends

When all seems lost, turn to friends
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When things still won't go as desired, say in the event that the job search still isn't going well after being turned away an innumerable amount of times, friends may offer words of encouragement and do what's right to help ease the burdens.

If your circle is well connected, then those who have experienced similar losses can share their advice, allowing you to do the same for them, thus providing a mutualistic benefit. 

Friends are great because they give one a shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough. Friends don't allow chums to get squished by personal insecurities. However, the same cannot be said with coworkers.

5. Don't rely on random people for emotional support

Don't rely on random people for emotional support
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Acquiring a dream job is room for congratulations, the struggles persist with certain challenges that present themselves the more one gets into a particular task. One could turn to coworkers for support, but more than likely, they will turn that person away, either because they don't possess the skills to help, or simply because there are no sympathies to give.

It's important to realize that, yes, getting emotionally invested in your job can help boost productivity. Although this may be true, you shouldn't expect your coworkers, or anyone else you hardly know, to be an emotional support pillar in times of strife, as they are more focused on their own issues, and would rather share their grievances with those they're closest to. 

Compassion is a two-way street, but when a complete stranger expects assistance, it's more than likely one will apply the brakes. To those people, sometimes it only takes a single individual to cause stress.

6. Even minor inconveniences can have lasting effects

It's a nice day to do some errands. The car is gassed up and running smoothly, but, uh-oh, upon merging onto the freeway, there is bumper-to-bumper traffic as far as the eye can see, all because one smart aleck couldn't wait to send that last text message. Thanks to that person, many are stuck, possibly for hours, because someone else was impatient.

As a result, negative energy can build, both from the inconvenience itself and the disappointment in realizing you won't make it out today. Little disruptions like this can fill the powder keg, and if those feelings of disappointment become too much, then that barrel will be ready to blow. Even more so during the worst possible moments.

Missing a job interview because of unexpected traffic, or losing out on that BOGO sale due to a minor inconvenience can make one wonder what's the point of even trying. Yet, in reality, that is to be expected all the same.

7. Disappointment doesn't last forever

Disappointment doesn't last forever
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Life is challenging and chaotic because that's what allows one to improve as a human being. Like a box of chocolates, the challenges ahead are made to be unexpected, and someone will likely not know what to do once it is uncovered. 

Even so, that doesn't mean life isn't worth taking risks and trying new avenues. If that were the case, then we'd all be machines, awaiting the same grind of consistency and not expecting things to change for the better. 

One missed opportunity or one wrong step may seem like all it takes to want and call it quits, and that will sting. Even more so, however, is the refusal to pick yourself up and keep going. 

If someone is able to get back up, then the way towards greater things will show itself. Remember, expecting disappointment is easy and discomforting, but yielding to it will only hurt more, as will constantly moving at 110%. 

8. Determination is paramount to success

For some, the line between burnout and success is based on more than just the merits one invests in a particular task.

Going to work and then coming home to get a task done can be tiring, which is exactly why most people fail in their endeavors. While staying dead set on a goal is important, it's always good to pace yourself.

Refusing to eat, sleep, or take time for self-care just to accomplish a task will only do more harm than good in the long run, and make whatever has to be done fall flat, leading to the end results being shoddy at best.

From personal experience, the latter statement is especially true; it is not healthy to set aside enjoying one's self, for that can make one snappy towards the world and be tempted to punch holes in the wall. 

9. Don't hesitate to go back to the drawing board

When all else fails, and when doubts begin to form, it helps to take a step back and see if the plan for success is going as originally intended.

Like my father always says, the only thing constant in life is change. As such, the game plan one had previously set could end up forming holes because of unforeseen occurrences. 

In this event, if you still seek a certain goal, then take a moment to look back at what went wrong along the way, and evaluate whether or not it is something you have control over or if a new course must be set.

One should never expect everything will go off without a hitch, as the world will always find new ways to throw a wrench into the works.

. . .

Success is a moving target, and as such, it helps to know where one stands when it comes to attaining achievement. A single road bump won't halt the drive of progress if one continues to persist and work around all deterrents in that path.

I'm just the average bear trying to find his place among other aspiring writers. Also please consider following me on Twitter @good_wickham

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