Several Helpful Ways To Control Your Anger Before It Controls You

Is it hard for you to express your anger because it's uncontrollable? Learn several ways to control your anger to prevent it from escalating.

Do you feel as if your anger is taking a toll on your life? Were you terminated from previous jobs because of your uncontrollable anger? Did loved ones and close friends remove themselves from your life because of your bad temper? If so, there's no need to worry. Many people, including myself, have struggled with controlling their anger. 

Therefore, if you are destructing property, causing harm to others, and saying cruel things because you are heated, it's time to tame your temper. 

Remember, being angry isn't a bad thing. The way you choose to express your anger is important.

On the bright side, let's go over several helpful things you can do to control your anger. 

1. Think Before You Speak Whenever You Are Feeling Angry

Before you say something you'll regret, take the time to think before you speak. When we are angry, we say mean things during the heat of the moment. To prevent this from happening, stop yourself and gather your thoughts. Take a deep breath and think hard about what you are going to say. You should also think about how the other person will feel based on your choice of words. 

Stop yourself from cursing, belittling, and shouting at the other person. Doing this will escalate the situation. It will only make matters worse. In the past, if you've shouted, belittled, and cursed at someone because you were feeling upset, reflect on that situation. If you reflect on those brutal times, you can learn from them to make sure it doesn't happen again in the future. 

Ask yourself, will I hurt this person if I say this? What will the outcome be if I use these words? What can I do to stop myself to prevent this from happening again? 

To add on, as long as you think hard during heated situations, everything will be okay. If you have something you need to get off your chest, think of the many ways you can express it. Do you want to scream and curse, or do you want to express it wisely? 

Your emotions can make you say something you don't mean. Don't allow your anger to control what comes out of your mouth. 

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2. Count Up Or Down To Ten To Manage Your Anger 

Counting up or down to ten is a great way to control your anger. When counting in your head or out loud, it releases tension. As you are counting, you feel yourself starting to calm down. According to, in the time it takes for you to count, your heart rate will slow, and your anger will likely subside. 

If counting up or down to ten doesn't work, it's also recommended to count to a hundred. The next time you are feeling upset, count up or down to ten immediately. Count down to whatever number you'd like until you feel yourself calming down. 

count up or down control anger
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3. Listen To Music To Control Your Anger 

Before your anger gets out of control, grab some headphones and play some music. You should listen to one of your favorite tunes to calm yourself down. Whether it's relaxing music or upbeat, find some tunes you can jam to until you are feeling better. Listening to music can elevate your mood. It's also fun to listen to, especially when you are feeling enraged. 

Listening to music is a great way to calm your nerves. So, the next time you are feeling angry, grab a pair of headphones and boogie away. Turn the volume as loud as you can to avoid distractions.

listen to music to control your anger
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4. Walk Away From The Situation That's Triggering You

Walking away from a situation that is making you upset is a mature thing to do. Instead of staying in a situation that's making you heated, walk away. Walking away from the situation prevents things from escalating.

There were times I would stay in situations that were making me upset, and things didn't turn out pretty. You can prevent this by walking away when the situation starts. Walking away gives you time to cool off. It also gives you time to prepare what you are going to say once you've calmed down.

In the past, if you've stayed in a situation that was making you upset, what was the outcome? Reflect on that situation to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

Let the person know that you are not in the mood to continue the conversation, and just walk away. Leaving from an upsetting situation gives you power. 

walking away from the situation
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5. Write In A Journal Whenever You Are Feeling Mad 

Writing in a journal is a good way to express your feelings, especially when you are feeling angry. Writing in your journal keeps your anger from growing. When you write, it makes you feel calmer. You can also scribble all over the pages if you have to. 

When writing in your journal, you can look back in your journal entries to read about what upset you. From there, you can reflect on those situations and plan on what you can do differently in the future. 

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6. Try New Exercises To Tame Your Temper 

When you are feeling upset, your nerves are on the rise. To keep yourself calm when you are feeling heated, do some exercise. For instance, doing meditation is a great way to release tension and relax your muscles. Grab a yoga mat and start on some yoga poses. Go outside for a jog or a stroll in the park. Go to a boxing ring and punch some punching bags to release your rage.

Exercising is a great way to release steam. Do workouts that work best for you until you calm down. 

do workouts when you are feeling angry
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7. Mentally Escape When You Are Feeling On Edge 

When we are feeling furious, it's easy for us to stay trapped in our minds. Release your anger by mentally escaping. You can do this by thinking of things that make you feel jovial. For instance, think of an old joke that made you laugh. Repeat a mantra in your head. Think of a Youtube that made you smile. 

You can mentally escape by picturing yourself elsewhere. Imagine yourself on the beach while sipping frigid lemonade. Think of yourself relaxing by a waterfall. Think of anything that will erase your feelings of anger. 

Mentally escaping is a great way to distract yourself from escalating a situation that's making you furious. 

8. Talk To Someone You Can Rely On When You Are Upset 

It's best to talk to someone you can trust when you are feeling irritated. If you are having trouble communicating with the person you are upset with, find someone to talk to. Talking to someone you can trust and who is willing to listen can calm your anger. 

If you continue to talk to someone that is triggering your anger, talk to someone that's willing to hear you out. Don't continue to talk to someone that makes you feel like you are talking to a brick wall. It will escalate the situation and make your anger worse.

Whether it's a close friend, family member, or social media friend, talk to them instead. 

talk to someone you trust when feeling angry
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9. Squeeze A Stress Ball To Release Anger 

I know this sounds cheesy, but stress balls can ease tension. As you are squeezing the ball, you are releasing anger. You can also throw the ball in order to calm yourself down. They are safe to use and have an easy grip. 

use stress ball to manage anger
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10. Identify The Triggers That Are Making You Upset

Take the time to identify triggers that are making you upset. It's best to avoid these triggers to prevent things from escalating. However, you can't always run away from your triggers. In this case, you should find appropriate ways to deal with your triggers. 

According to, some triggers include violation of personal space, physical threats, abusive language, disrespect, labeling, blaming, and so on. Whatever your triggers may be, identify them and find different ways to cope with them to prevent the situation from worsening. 

11. Seek Professional Help If Further Assistance Is Needed 

There are times where nothing seems to help, and you need to seek further help. There could be an underlying issue that requires deeper help. If you feel like you've tried everything, but you are still struggling with your anger, try looking for someone that specializes in anger.

Uncontroablle anger could be a sign of a mental health disorder that can be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. If this is the case, there is no need to worry. You will be provided with the resources you need to tame your anger. 

seek professional help for anger
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To conclude, feeling angry isn't a bad thing. When you learn healthy ways to express your anger, communicating with others will become easier. 

If you've shouted, cursed, and belittled someone in the past because you were feeling angry, reflect on that situation. If you've destructed property or harmed others, prevent it from happening in the future. 

Control your anger before it controls you.

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