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It doesn’t matter how old you are, moving to a new place on your own is nerve-wracking. People are used to the comforts of our own lives; however, we do not grow in comfort. Whether you are moving to a town for a new job, post-graduate degree, or for a change in scenery, you will feel scared.
However, that is natural. It is human to be afraid. Transitioning into a new phase of your life is never easy, but you can overcome these fears and uncertainties, with a bit of advice.
Here are ten things to do when you move to a new town alone.
Every place has one thing in common, there is always a bad area. Use a local crime map to find out how safe an area is. When you move to a new place you should research the area.
Before I moved to Virginia, I had to choose a place to live. It came down to two options. After I did a little bit of research, I found out that one apartment was in one of the most dangerous areas. The crime rate was through the roof. I decided to research the second area and it had a low crime rate. I went with the second choice, which led to a quiet life.
The sight of bare walls, an empty kitchen, and a bedroom full of boxes is disheartening. Seeing all of your belongings packed in boxes, in an empty house, will make you feel lonely. Once you have arrived at your new apartment you should begin to unpack, right away.
You have planned on living in this town, so make the space your own. You will not feel at home in your new town for a while, so focus on making a place for yourself.
When I first moved to Virginia, it took me months to completely unpack. Slowly I began to hang up artwork, shelve my books, and place my keepsakes. I rebuilt furniture, unrolled my rugs, and found places for my appliances. I was turning an empty house into my own. The more I unpacked, the more I saw myself staying there, and the less lonely I felt.
Everyone has the fantasy of moving to a new town, reinventing themselves, and starting a new life. So when you get a new town, act like this new life is yours. Create different accounts on social media.
This allows you to expand your horizon, without worrying about friends and relatives seeing what you are up to. You can create this new space to live your life.
I’m not telling you to delete your Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat, I'm telling you to make a new one. People scan through your accounts when you add them, why show someone your past when you want to work on your future?
I have different accounts for different purposes. I have ones for relatives and friends from college and another for my adult life. People will dig into your past, don’t give them anything to dig into.
When you’re in a new town there is so much to do, that it will overwhelm you. With so many decisions, what can you do? You may decide to do nothing and stay inside. When this happens, do what tourists do. Look up what to do in the area. A simple search on Google will show you events, attractions, and restaurants in the area.
That’s how I found Neptune’s Park, in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Along the beach, there is a twenty-six-foot-tall statue of Neptune towers over the beach. Intricate turtles and fish are carved along the statue.
In front of the statue is a grand stage, where performers play live music. Behind the statute, people are lounging on chairs letting the ocean lap at their feet.
Two blocks down there is a fitness park. There is a variety of equipment such as pull-up bars, a rope to climb up, and a lower tightrope walk. I’d visit the Oceanfront several times a week, just to find out what the most popular places were.
After a few weeks, I knew the area pretty well and could navigate using landmarks. So be a tourist, find new and amazing things, while learning how to find your way. You’ll see things you’ve never dreamed of and become used to your new town.
Many of us have hobbies. We play sports, paint, and read. When people move they give up on their hobbies. Don’t. There are thousands of people out there who have the same interest as you. Go and find them.
You already have something in common. You can use websites like Meetup to find different activities going on in your area. This is a great way to expand your circle of friends.
I decided to take an adult writing class at The Muse Writers Center, in Norfolk, Virginia. I wanted to work on my writing and this seemed to be the best place. I ended up meeting a lot of people that I really liked.
I met this woman named Karrie, who became one of my closest friends at the time. I went to a writing center to keep up with my hobby, and I ended up making friends.
Everyone gets tired of the same things day after day. Being in a new place isn’t a chore, It is a chase to explore yourself and what you are capable of doing. The answer to what you are looking for isn’t inside of your house or on Netflix, it’s out in the real world. Challenge yourself by doing new activities that you wouldn’t do in your hometown.
When I moved to Virginia I started doing improv comedy. Back at home, I wouldn’t perform in front of anyone I knew; however, in a new place gave me a chance to explore myself. The more I did the more I learned about myself.
We all get nervous going somewhere for the first time such as the grocery store, a coffee shop, or a club; however, that fades with exposure. If you want a sense of stability, then visit a place regularly. The more you frequent a place the more familiar you become with the location and people.
There were only three bars I went to regularly and I made sure to know the people who worked there. I was able to joke around with people, find out what was going on in town, and I was even invited to their parties.
Here’s the thing: I didn’t try to get to know people because I wanted anything from them, I just wanted to know who they were, I treat people like how I want to be treated. I became a regular by wanting to know more about the person and that’s how I made friends.
If you want to ease into a new life, become one of the locals. Visit local stores. Franchises are nice because you know what to expect; however, local shops will help ease you into a town. All towns have different cultures and the only way to discover it is to immerse yourself.
There are hundreds of neighboring towns right next to you. Each town offers a variety of different aspects. If you only stay in one place, you will miss out on what the rest of what your new town has to offer. Visit major cities in the area, small quiet towns, and national parks. Find ways to get out of your house and feel at home.
I would frequently go to the Oceanfront, in Virginia. There was always something going on like concerts, festivals, and events. I would run into the same people, from time to time, and build connections. The more events that I found out about, the more I had planned for the future. Planning day trips give you something to look forward to, instead of holding up in your apartment.
Everything needs an adjustment period. It’s going to take time before a place becomes a home. You cannot rush this process or force a deadline. You must live in the moment and treat the new town like it is your home. Over time you will fall into a routine and that’s how you know that you have adjusted.
After a year of living in Virginia, I found that I had become accustomed to the way of life. I knew where to shop for what, how to get around the town, and what was going on in the area. I didn’t know any of these things at first, but as I moved on with my life, I found out what to do. Moving to a new town was scary, but fear only lasts a moment.
Meeting people through shared interests definitely beats trying to make friends at bars.
Just started volunteering at the local animal shelter. Best decision I've made since moving here.
The tourist approach really works. I still find new things in my city after two years.
One thing I'd add is to get involved in local politics or community meetings. Great way to understand your new home.
Love that the article emphasizes giving yourself time. You can't rush feeling at home.
Would add that joining a religious or spiritual community can be really helpful if that's your thing.
Totally relate to the part about hobbies. My painting group became my closest friends here.
Researching crime rates is smart but some of the best communities are in transition areas.
The advice about neighboring towns is spot on. I actually found my favorite coffee shop in the next town over.
These tips are solid but don't forget to maintain connections with old friends too. They can be great support.
Has anyone tried those neighborhood apps? They've been helpful for me in getting to know my area.
Finding events through social media has been a game changer for me. So many free community activities I never knew about.
My experience matches the Virginia story. Took about a year to feel truly settled.
The investment in local shops is worth it. They often become community hubs where you meet people.
The suggestion about local shops is good but they can be pricey compared to chain stores.
Challenging yourself is key. I never would have tried rock climbing in my hometown but now I'm obsessed.
The advice about knowing your area is great. Google Street View helped me get familiar before I even moved.
I think the article should have mentioned joining professional networking groups too.
Dating apps worked surprisingly well for me. Just be upfront about looking for friendship.
Anyone tried dating apps to meet new people? Not necessarily for dating but just to make connections?
The suggestion about unpacking right away is crucial. Made that mistake once, never again.
Work friends are great but I think it's important to have connections outside the office too.
I found making friends through work was easier than trying to meet people through hobbies.
Hang in there! The six-month mark was my turning point. Things get better once you establish a routine.
Been here six months and still struggling. These tips are helpful but the loneliness is real.
The advice to give yourself time to adjust is so important. I kept beating myself up for not feeling at home right away.
I wish the article mentioned more about handling the emotional aspects of moving alone. It can be really tough mentally.
Taking improv classes sounds terrifying but maybe that's exactly why we should try things like that in a new place.
Following local shops on social media really helped me feel connected to my new community.
Love the idea about being a regular somewhere. My local gym community became my support system.
The crime rate research is important but don't get too paranoid. Every city has its issues.
Winter is actually perfect for indoor hobby groups. Try finding cooking classes or art workshops.
Anyone have experience with making friends during winter months? Seems much harder when everyone stays inside.
Adjusting definitely takes time. Took me almost a year before I stopped saying I was going home when referring to my old city.
The part about visiting neighboring towns is crucial. You might find you like a nearby area better than where you initially settled.
Surprised the article didn't mention volunteer work. That's been my go-to method for meeting people in new places.
I actually found small towns easier to integrate into. People tend to be more welcoming and the community is tighter.
The Virginia Beach examples are helpful but what about smaller towns? Not everywhere has big attractions like that.
Try photography! It gives you a purpose when exploring alone and you can join local photography groups too.
I've tried the tourist approach but feel awkward doing things alone. Any suggestions for solo activities?
Not sure I agree with creating new social media accounts. Seems like running away from your past rather than embracing growth.
The advice about hobby groups is great. I found my book club through Meetup and now they're like family.
Trust me, unpack right away! I made the mistake of waiting and it just made me feel unsettled for months.
Anyone else struggling with unpacking? I've been in my new place for three weeks and still living out of boxes.
The regular visits tip worked wonders for me. My local coffee shop basically became my second home and I made some great friends there.
I completely agree about researching crime rates. Saved me from making a huge mistake with my first apartment choice.
These are helpful tips but I think the article missed one important point: joining local sports leagues. That's how I made most of my friends when I moved.
Making new social media accounts seems unnecessary to me. Why not just keep your existing ones and make new connections?
The part about being a tourist in your own new city is spot on. I discovered so many hidden gems in my area just by exploring like a visitor would.
I really appreciate this article. Just moved to Seattle alone and feeling pretty overwhelmed. Taking notes on all these suggestions.