Are You Communicating The Right Way In Your Relationships?
On days when I sit by myself and reflect on the journey that life has been for the last 23 years, I realize there are a lot of questions that I carry within myself unknowingly. We as humans have the greatest gift of communication. We can express what we feel. The emotions that we experience and voicing our opinion on various matters.
With the evolution of technology and the development of communities, many new ways of communication have found their ways into our lives. Back in the day’s letters were the primary way people communicated with each other. Family, friends, and lovers waited for days, weeks, and sometimes even months from the loved ones that live hundreds of miles away from them. I am sure all of us have at some point in our lives sat down with our grandparents and listened to stories about their childhood.
One of the stories that have stuck with me over the years is that of my great aunt and great uncle. My uncle was deployed as a part of the Indian army to various camps all over the country back in the 1960s. My aunt resided in Chennai and looked after the family. My aunt would yearn for the handwritten letters that my uncle would send to her approximately once in 6 months. Their entire marriage and relationship for the 25 years that he was a part of the Indian army was based on these letters and the occasional visits that he made.
In today's world, we should consider ourselves to be blessed and gifted to have the technology of a smartphone that enables us to connect with anyone sitting in any corner of the world with a single tap. It lies in our hands how we use the technology available at our disposal to engage in more meaningful, long-lasting, and fruitful relationships with the people that we come across in different times of our lives.
There is no doubt the relationship between friends, among family members, and lovers heavily rely on trust, love, and mutual respect. Above all communication is key in every relationship. It can be an extremely hard task to always find the right words when bearing our soul and displaying our emotions towards others. I speak from personal experience when I say that I've found myself in a situation numerous times unable to find the right words to communicate what I'm feeling or when I wanted to be able to comfort someone else when they were going through a hard time.
As important as it is to gain someone’s trust and enable them to see the affection and the care that you have for them, it is also very important to be very careful of our choice of words when communicating with them. As the saying goes, “Words once uttered cannot be taken back.”
Having said this let me draw a comparison between relationships today and relationships back in the day. Let us take for example our grandparents’ generation. They were conditioned to believe that when something turns sour in your relationship you must try and fix it to the best of your abilities before you decide to give up on it.
However, today's generation does not function in the same way. I am sure most of us have witnessed a divorce and breakups among our friends or family invariably at some point in our life. I believe one of the key reasons for this is the approach that people have towards emotions and towards feelings in today's fast-paced world.
We place our ego and self-respect above empathy and kindness. All it takes is a little patience, love, and give and take nature to be able to understand what someone is going through. Lead with love. Lead with gratitude. Above all lead with an open heart and be willing to see someone for who they are beyond that single moment of a breakdown that they have. Trust me when I say this, there is nothing that cannot be solved with effective communication.
Get out of your phone, get out of your laptop, and dedicate time to understanding family and friends. Make the effort to sit down communicate. Talk about each other’s lives and their highs and lows. This will enable you to understand what someone else is going through. This guides us on how we can sympathize with them and give them the benefit of doubt and enable them to grow and heal from whatever has hurt them.
You would be surprised to know that we are not all quite different. We all face similar trauma at some point in our lives. Your way of dealing with it might not be their way and that is what makes us individuals with contrasting personalities.
It is extremely easy to spread and cultivate hate and resentment towards others. What we fail to realize is that we carry this burden with us moving forward in life. Harboring negative feelings for anyone in our minds and hearts will never bring us the Peace of Mind that we deserve at the end of the day. Wake up every morning and try to live each day with a little bit more sympathy a little bit more kindness.
You never know how much a small act of kindness on your behalf will impact someone else life. You may be the ray of sunshine and hope that they desperately needed to get through the day. Remember you receive what you give. The world could use a little bit of love right now. Be the change you want to see around you.