The Number One Thing To Keep In Mind When It Comes To Your Self-worth

Emily Zane

wellness · 6 min

Social media is constantly throwing the term “self-worth” at us from every direction on a daily basis. We see it in our Instagram newsfeed, we see it trending on Twitter, and we see it highlighted through shared links and content on Facebook.

When we think about self-worth, self-care typically comes to mind. Our minds drift to bubble baths with fizzy bath bombs, face masks that penetrate our pores, pampering manicures and pedicures, and indulgent massages that leave us feeling whole and rested.

While these acts are only a single facet of self-care, they don’t necessarily fall under the category of self-worth. These two words may belong to the same family, but they are not interchangeable.

What’s the difference between self-care and self-worth?

Self-care is the action of taking care of yourself.

This can be through the actions listed above, or it can be through a completely different outlet. Self-care can come in many different packages and often looks different for everyone.

Some people practice self-care by sleeping an extra hour. Sometimes self-care is drinking a green smoothie, grabbing coffee with a friend, or calling your mom. Whatever it is that leaves you feeling fulfilled, taken care of, and refueled is a great example of self-care.

Self-worth, however, is a broader term. Your amount of self-care often depends on your level of self-worth.

Self-worth is all about how you see yourself.

The two terms often go hand-in-hand and contribute to one another, fueling and adding benefit to each other.

What are examples of self-worth?

A person’s sense of self-worth is revealed through their self-care, through the way they carry themselves, talk about themselves, treat other people, and act in a community.

Self-worth is having confidence in yourself and your abilities, believing you are capable of achieving certain things, liking yourself for who you are, and having compassion and grace for yourself when you make a mistake.

You may see yourself as a kind and caring person who loves others and does their best to make the world a better place. In this case, you most likely have high self-worth.

You may see yourself as a person who is dishonest, doesn’t give their time to others in need, or speaks to others aggressively and condescendingly. Depending on your personal set of values, this could lead to low self-worth or high self-worth.

What is low self-worth?

Often, when someone has low self-worth, that means they don’t see their true value. They don’t see the wonderful qualities they have, and they don’t acknowledge the unique skills and advantages they bring to the table.

Someone with low self-worth may see themselves as undeserving of love and attention, honesty and respect, or kindness and care. They may see themselves as less than others, and truly believe that they aren’t worthy of anything good.

To put it simply, having low self-worth means that you don’t feel worthy.

You may frequently put yourself down and criticize yourself, speak unkind words to yourself, accept poor treatment from others, or allow yourself to be placed in undesirable situations.

Low self-worth is a heavy burden. It makes life more difficult because you’re going through life feeling degraded, unworthy, unlikeable, and whatever other story you’re telling yourself about your worth and your value.

What is high self-worth?

People who have high self-worth are confident. They give credit to their abilities and strengths and are able to point out the qualities about themselves that they find admirable and praiseworthy.

High self-worth is a byproduct of loving yourself and viewing yourself as the unique and beautiful person you truly are.

If you feel worthy and valuable, you most likely lift yourself up in situations where it would be easy to demoralize yourself. You are kind to yourself, and you speak words of truth and strength to yourself when you are feeling doubtful.

No one feels high about themselves all the time, and often, people with high self-worth still struggle from time to time and have to pull themselves out of the occasional self-deprecating hole.

However, whether you have high self-worth or low self-worth, there is one imperative thing to keep in mind:

Only you can truly determine your self-worth.

How do you determine your self-worth?

Self-worth is not determined by those around you. It is not determined by what your mom told you when you were 10, it’s not determined by the rumor your best friend started about you in the 7th grade, and it’s not determined by the man who assaulted you when you were at a party.

These things, while they don’t directly determine your degree of self-worth, do affect it.

You may feel unlovable because your wife cheated on you, and therefore feel like you are undeserving. You may feel demoralized and degraded because you were molested when you were a child, leaving you feeling unworthy of love.

Terrible, unfair, life-altering things happen through the lives that leave us feeling a certain way about ourselves, even though the events are not a reflection of who we are as people. We take these circumstances personally and allow our self-worth to fluctuate based on what has happened or what is happening to us in the present moment.

Consequently, we have a low sense of self-worth.

Alternately, we have a high sense of self-worth if we attribute our worth to the good things we’ve done or the accomplishments we achieved.

Good things happen to us, just as bad things do. We get that promotion, we score the winning point, we win the award, we come out on top. If you work hard, you often reap rewards.

Just like we do with the unfairly detrimental life situations, we allow the good things in our life to define who we are and what we’re worth. We think more highly of ourselves because we won because we triumphed over others because we came out victorious.

This is not the way to determine your worth.

In order to have a solid, deeply-rooted idea of what our worth truly is, we must believe in our hearts that we are good people worthy of love and good things simply because we are good people.

There is nothing in this world that can take your self-worth away from you. You may occasionally allow a life event to affect how you see yourself or let a mistake you made dictate your current view of who you are, but these things, in the big picture, do not lessen your degree of worth.

Keep in mind that regardless of what happens to you, regardless of what he said to you yesterday, what she did to you 10 years ago, what happens to you tomorrow, only you can determine your self-worth.

Your self-worth is in your hands, so choose to see yourself the way you truly are: beautiful, intelligent, strong, creative, and worthy of good things.

woman with a tattoo and glasses looking confidently into the camera — Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

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DreamBiggerToday 3y ago

This totally changes how I think about building self-worth versus just practicing self-care.

InfinityHorizon 3y ago

Realizing now why all those self-care activities never quite filled the void. Need to work on the foundation.

HorizonWalker 3y ago

Such an important message about how we're worthy simply because we exist, not because of what we do.

Autumn_Collins 3y ago

It's freeing to know that nothing external can actually determine my worth unless I let it.

KevinCodes 3y ago

Love the practical breakdown between self-care actions and self-worth beliefs. Really helps clarify things.

WholeHealth_Journey_07 3y ago

Working on believing my worth isn't tied to my success or failure. It's a daily practice.

TimeLapseX 3y ago

This article gives me hope that I can build lasting self-worth instead of just temporary feel-good moments.

Lowry_Ledger 3y ago

Never realized how much I let past experiences define my worth until reading this.

Savannah-Reed 3y ago

The idea that we're inherently worthy is beautiful but so hard to truly believe sometimes.

Mind-Body_Soul_101 3y ago

Wish I'd read this years ago. Could have saved myself a lot of money on fancy self-care products!

HolographicWarrior 3y ago

Best explanation I've seen of why Instagram self-care doesn't fix our deeper self-worth issues.

Ella_Smith 3y ago

I find it challenging to separate my worth from my achievements. Anyone else struggle with this?

Gratitude_Mindset 3y ago

Starting to see why my self-care routine feels more like a band-aid than a solution to my deeper issues.

ScarlettMoon 3y ago

Love how this emphasizes that we're worthy simply because we exist, not because of what we do or achieve.

Porter_Perspective 3y ago

Just realized I've been mixing up self-care and self-worth my whole life. No wonder I felt stuck.

Bonnie_Twinkle 3y ago

The connection between self-care and self-worth makes so much sense. You have to value yourself to want to take care of yourself.

HarperSunshine 3y ago

Great article but I think it understates how hard it is to maintain self-worth when facing constant criticism or negativity.

TrevorTravels 3y ago

Sometimes the simplest truths are the hardest to accept. Still working on believing I'm worthy just because I exist.

Earth-To-Table_01 3y ago

Really powerful message about separating our experiences from our inherent worth as people.

VandeHei_View 3y ago

This helped me understand why my self-care routine feels hollow sometimes. I need to work on the foundation first.

SamanthaB_77 3y ago

Wonder how many people are doing all the self-care things but still feeling empty inside because they haven't addressed their self-worth.

HyperSpeedNomad 3y ago

Been thinking about this all day. Really changed my perspective on how I view my worth versus how I take care of myself.

DreamSageX 3y ago

The part about maintaining self-worth through difficult times really speaks to me. It's such a challenge.

SelfLove_Workout_10 3y ago

I appreciate how this acknowledges the impact of trauma while emphasizing our power to define our own worth.

Chris_1999 3y ago

Maybe we need to talk more about building self-worth and less about face masks and bubble baths.

Monica-Perkins 3y ago

This article perfectly explains why all those self-care routines I tried never seemed to make a lasting difference.

Hannah_21 3y ago

Never thought about how chasing achievements for self-worth is just as problematic as letting failures define us.

Addison99 3y ago

The distinction between self-care and self-worth is so important. One is about actions, the other about fundamental beliefs about ourselves.

EpicExplorer23 3y ago

I struggle with the idea that we alone determine our self-worth. Surely our relationships and experiences play a role?

Lindsay-Wright 3y ago

Reading this made me realize how much I let my past relationships affect how I value myself today.

RunForJoy 3y ago

Finally an article that doesn't try to sell me something to fix my self-worth issues!

Rather_Report 3y ago

This makes me think about how much time I waste on surface-level self-care when I should be working on deeper self-worth issues.

WarpSpeedX 3y ago

Loving the emphasis on personal responsibility for our self-worth. We can't control what happens to us but we can control how we value ourselves.

Inner-Calm_Unlocked_555 3y ago

The point about good things not determining our worth either was eye-opening. I definitely fall into that trap.

SoulHealing_Path 3y ago

This really resonates with me. I've been working on separating my achievements from my worth as a person.

AubreyS 3y ago

I always thought I was doing something wrong because face masks and bubble baths weren't making me feel better about myself.

Sophia-Johnson 3y ago

Self-worth is such a journey. Just when I think I've got it figured out, life throws something new at me to work through.

ElliottJ 3y ago

Anyone else feel like they're drowning in self-care advice but still struggling with actual self-worth? This article explains why.

Geraldo_Gazette 3y ago

Definitely saving this article. I need to remind myself regularly that my worth isn't tied to my achievements or failures.

IsabellaGrace 3y ago

The analogy of self-care and self-worth being in the same family but not interchangeable really helped me understand the difference.

OscarCruz 3y ago

Interesting perspective but I think it oversimplifies things. Building self-worth isn't as simple as just deciding to value yourself.

Kinsley99 3y ago

I've noticed my friends with the most Instagram perfect self-care routines often struggle the most with genuine self-worth.

NightmareVision 3y ago

The part about past trauma affecting self-worth but not determining it is so powerful. Wish I'd learned this years ago.

MikeWrites 3y ago

My therapist has been trying to tell me this for months. Sometimes you need to read something at the right moment for it to click.

PaisleyMae 3y ago

Can we talk about how society pushes this commercialized version of self-care while completely ignoring the deeper aspects of self-worth?

RadiateConfidence 3y ago

This really hits home. I always confused taking care of myself with actually valuing myself. No wonder those spa days weren't fixing anything!

Nicole_Soft 3y ago

I appreciate how this article acknowledges that even people with high self-worth have bad days. Makes it feel more achievable somehow.

Mckenzie_Star 3y ago

The hardest part for me is maintaining high self-worth during tough times. It's easy to feel worthy when everything's going well.

Adele_Skies 3y ago

Responding to the previous comment about social media I actually think platforms like this can help us learn and grow if we use them right.

Ava 3y ago

You know what struck me most? The part about how good events shouldn't determine our worth either. Never thought about it that way before.

Lily-Marie 3y ago

Not all self-care has to be Instagram worthy. Sometimes my self-care is just saying no to plans and watching Netflix in my pajamas.

Madisyn-Jefferson 3y ago

Actually, I disagree that only we can determine our self-worth. Our experiences and relationships shape us whether we like it or not.

Valentina_Love 3y ago

This makes so much sense to me now. My self-care game is strong but my self-worth still needs work. They really are different things.

Harper 3y ago

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that we're reading about self-worth on social media, which is probably one of the biggest destroyers of it?

RobertAlexander 3y ago

This article nails it. I spent so long letting other people's actions determine my worth. Learning to separate external events from my internal value was life-changing.

JordanWrites 3y ago

Such an important message. It took me years to realize that bubble baths and face masks weren't going to fix my deeper issues with self-worth.

KaitlynPierce 4y ago

I really needed to read this today. The distinction between self-care and self-worth really opened my eyes. I've been focusing too much on external validation lately.