A Brief Introduction To The Various Twelve-Step Programs
The truth is that the twelve steps saved my life. Did I want to do them? Hell no, but then again, I shy away from broccoli and doctor appointments. But almost dying has a way of getting your attention. Long before I entered the rooms, I was really curious about what the heck was going on in there.
Wikipedia lists thirty-eight twelve-step programs available. Here are a few highlights:
"Sometimes, the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take the step.”
-Naeem Callaway
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA started in 1935 in Akron, Ohio, when Bill Wilson, a stockbroker from New York called a local clergyman because he was away on a business trip and was afraid he was going to drink.
The priest gave him the number of Dr. Bob Smith, a local surgeon with a history of alcohol abuse, and the rest is history. Two drunks talking to each other is the magic of the fellowship. No one preaching or claiming he has a solution, but two equals coming to terms with an illness that has devastating consequences.
This is the mothership, the program on which all others are based. The twelve steps of AA are used in all other fellowships, what you are powerless over is the only substitution. There are no dues or fees in any of the programs.
“I am a survivor, not a victim.”
-Anonymous
The bedrock of the fellowship is powerlessness over alcohol: It is the first drink that gets you drunk. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. Step One is the only step you have to get perfectly. Freedom from the drink, though, brings with it a bunch of character defects that the steps help address. The rest are listed below.
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Many people fret about the “God” thing, but many atheists and agnostics have no problem with the program because you get to define your own Higher Power. Many use God as “Good Orderly Direction” or “Group of Drunks.” The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Step Four is also off-putting to many. One day at a time! When you are ready to tackle it, then that is when you’ll do it. Think of the steps as more of a marathon than a race. I wrote a lot of inventory and found it to be very free to read it to my sponsor, to truly let another person know me and not judge me. You are only as sick as your secrets!
Debtors Anonymous
This is a great program for anyone with money problems. Did you know you inherit your parent’s view of money without even realizing it? My grandparents struggled through the Great Depression and both my parents were raised with a scarcity mindset which they passed on to me.
It really is no one's fault, but it feels good to take responsibility and define our own relationship to money. Fear of economic insecurity that has plagued me for a lifetime has been replaced with serenity.
Money problems come in all shapes and sizes: are you overspending to stuff your feelings, or hoarding because you fear the future? Some people come in who are unable to open mail by themselves or who haven’t filed a tax return in over ten years. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop incurring unsecured debt.
Hopefully, someday, money management will be taught in high school. The ability to save, have a checking account, and use credit cards responsibly are great skills to have.
Overeater Anonymous
There are so many ways people deal with trauma. Some use alcohol, sex, or narcotics to numb the pain. Others use food. I know that was my first drug of choice. This can be tough because you can go cold turkey from the drugs or the booze but not so much with food. Here is a safe place to learn how to nourish yourself without overeating, and learn the root causes of your dis-ease.
Underearners Anonymous
This is my current favorite. Chronic underearning is a core issue for me. Being an actress and a writer, I have always gravitated toward low-paying jobs to keep myself free for auditions.
I thought I had to be poor and suffer for art, and suffer I did. I have not only been underachieving career-wise, but also under being all of my life (which UA defines as not fully acknowledging and expressing your capabilities and competencies.)
Most of this stems from low self-esteem, but whatever the reason, it no longer works for me. Getting a lot of support from action groups and having accountability with my time, I have managed slowly to start to apply my skills and talents to areas I never believed I could make money in.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
SLAA is not just for the over-sexed, but also those who compulsively avoid sex and emotional attachment. Sexual anorexia and sexual compulsiveness can be brought about by many factors, including rape, incest, and other forms of sexual abuse.
There are many same-sex meetings to avoid distraction. Keeping silent about trauma is never a good idea, and many people use this program in addition to therapy to achieve the best results.
Below are the Promises of the programs, which work if you work it!
The Twelve Promises
1. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
2. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
3. We will comprehend the word serenity.
4. We will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
10. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
The joy of helping others and building a community around you often fills the God-shaped hole that we’d tried to fix by stuffing it with food, alcohol, or pills. Whatever the meeting, we always close with the Serenity prayer.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I hope you come to visit, many meetings are open and encourage visitors. See you there!
Opinions and Perspectives
Always thought twelve steps was just for alcoholics. Eye-opening to see how widely applicable it is.
The article does a great job explaining how accessible these programs are while still maintaining their seriousness.
Interesting how they mention fear of economic insecurity. That's definitely a universal experience.
The idea of being restored to sanity implies we were sane before our struggles. That's actually quite hopeful.
Love the emphasis on community. We really do heal better together than alone.
Important point about these programs being supplements to therapy rather than replacements.
I can see why they say inventory writing is freeing. Getting everything out on paper must be such a release.
The part about using food to numb pain hit close to home. Never thought about it that way before.
It's comforting to know there's support out there for such a wide range of struggles. No one has to face their problems alone.
Surprised by how much the promises resonated with me. Especially the one about not regretting the past.
The article really shows how these programs create a framework for dealing with any compulsive behavior.
Makes sense why they say Step One is the only one you have to get perfectly. Can't move forward without accepting the problem.
Understanding that our parents money views affect us explains so much about my own financial behaviors.
I appreciate how the article addresses peoples hesitation about Step 4. Making it less scary by emphasizing the one-day-at-a-time approach.
The idea that these principles can be applied to all aspects of life is powerful. It's not just about the specific addiction.
That's spot on about helping others filling the God-shaped hole. I've found purpose in supporting others through their struggles.
The focus on carrying the message to others makes so much sense. Helping others really does help heal ourselves.
I actually attended an open AA meeting once. The sense of community was incredible.
Really interesting how they say many use multiple programs. Shows how our struggles often overlap.
The part about underachieving versus underearning is eye-opening. I definitely do both without realizing it.
Never thought about how challenging recovery from food issues must be since you can't just quit eating completely.
I appreciate how they mention same-sex meetings. Creating safe spaces is so important for recovery.
The serenity prayer is beautiful in its simplicity. Accepting what we can't change while having courage to change what we can.
Reading this made me realize how interconnected all these issues are. Money problems, food issues, relationship struggles all seem related.
The part about keeping silent about trauma really resonates. We need more spaces to talk about these things safely.
It's powerful how they say these programs work if you work them. Puts the responsibility on us while offering support.
Love how they address both overspending and hoarding. Two sides of the same coin really.
Having accountability groups for time management sounds really helpful. Might look into UA myself.
The connection between creativity and underearning really speaks to me. We need to stop romanticizing the starving artist.
I've avoided opening mail before due to money anxiety. Good to know I'm not alone in that.
The idea of defining your own higher power makes these programs much more accessible than I originally thought.
I like how they emphasize it's a marathon not a race. Too often we want instant results.
That line about being as sick as your secrets really struck me. Holding things in does make everything worse.
I relate so much to the underearning part. Always thought struggling financially was just part of being creative.
The concept of being powerless over something seems counterintuitive at first, but I get how accepting it can be freeing.
Reading those twelve steps, I can see why some people might feel overwhelmed. But taking it one day at a time makes sense.
I found it interesting that they mention using food as the first drug of choice. That really shifted my perspective on eating disorders.
The no dues or fees part is crucial. Makes help accessible to everyone regardless of financial situation.
Never realized OA could work alongside therapy. Makes sense to tackle food issues from multiple angles.
It's refreshing to see how these programs address root causes rather than just symptoms. The food-trauma connection particularly stood out to me.
The article makes a great point about money management needing to be taught in schools. Would have saved me years of struggle.
As someone in recovery, I can confirm that Step 4 inventory is scary at first but incredibly liberating once you do it.
I agree completely. Having someone who's been through it makes such a difference compared to just getting advice from professionals.
The story about Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith shows how powerful peer support can be. It's not about experts telling you what to do.
You know what's fascinating? They mention 38 different programs but only highlight a few. I wonder what the others address.
The way they describe AA's origins with two people just talking really humanizes the whole concept.
Those twelve promises seem almost too good to be true, but I guess that's why they say they materialize if you work for them.
Interesting how they mention sexual anorexia alongside addiction. Never thought about compulsive avoidance being part of the same spectrum.
The part about inheriting money views from parents is so true. My mom grew up poor and I find myself hoarding money even though I'm financially stable.
I've been struggling with underearning for years but never knew there was a program for it. Might give UA a try.
The quote about taking small steps really hits home. Sometimes we think we need to make massive changes, but even tiptoes count.
I appreciate how the article addresses the God aspect. As an atheist, I was always hesitant about twelve-step programs, but using Good Orderly Direction as an alternative makes sense to me.
What strikes me most is how adaptable the core twelve steps are to different issues. Whether it's alcohol, food, or money, the fundamental principles seem to work.
The part about Debtors Anonymous really resonates with me. I definitely inherited my parents' fear-based relationship with money and never realized how much it affected my decisions.
I never knew there were so many different twelve-step programs. The article really opened my eyes to how these programs can help with various struggles beyond just alcohol addiction.