So You Wanna Workout In The Morning? Welcome To Hell!
But wait! Your head is ringing worse than usual. Your body refuses to move, and it's still night time. This can only mean one thing; you've made the grave mistake of deciding to sacrifice your few sweet moments of serenity in exchange for sweaty, aggressive exercise.
It sounded like a good idea at the time. Youre busy all day, eating all night, there was really now other way. But now vicious claws of time and commitment have finally caught up to you and its time to put your money where your mouth is.
If you want a little help making the worse moment of your life a little less worse continue reading.
Stop!!! Don't you say another word. You still reasoning with yourself right now. No you're not gonna do it later, you'll have no energy and you'll have no time that's why you said you'd do it this morning.
No you're not hurt, your body is just preparing for the pain your about to cause it. Oh, and my favorite, you're most definitely not gonna start tomorrow. Tomorrow, life's greatest tease. She's always coming but never comes. She is the biggest, sweetest lie you can tell yourself, encapsulates all the good feelings of dedicating yourself to something without actually having to do anything. She is a tempting mistress but you have to let her go.
Now that you and tomorrow have said your goodbyes, it's time for the hardest work out of the day "getting up". This step is very simple.
THROW YOURSELF OUT OF BED
Do it, maliciously and with contempt, like you hate yourself. No matter what, before you dream, before you think, before anything; just throw yourself up. Have a partner? Roll over em, they shouldn't have been sleeping in the way of your goals.
You sleep on the top bunk of a bunk bed? Land on your feet. No matter what Do whatever it takes to be on your feet by the time your eyes open and I guarantee your halfway there.
Finally, Once you're on your feet be proud. You've done what so many people can't. You took that step and you're on your way. Now get the first set done. I don't care If you go to the gym, workout at home, or whatever; when you get to your destination, do the first set of whatever.
First steps are the most important because once you take it you'll never see a reason to look back, and why should you? You managed to pull more than a hundred pounds of near dead carcass out of the sweet embrace of pillow and bed and forced it to perform activities to strain and break it before the sun rose. There is literally nothing you can't do.
Opinions and Perspectives
This tough love approach isn't for everyone but it certainly worked for me.
Finally someone who understands that morning workouts aren't all sunshine and motivation.
The article really captures the daily battle between comfort and commitment.
Wish they had included some tips for night owls transitioning to morning workouts.
The humor makes the harsh truth easier to swallow. Great writing style.
This is exactly the kind of motivation I needed to restart my morning workout routine.
Love how they acknowledge the reality of the struggle while pushing you to overcome it.
The article could benefit from some practical tips about sleep schedules and preparation.
I find the militant approach refreshing. Sometimes we need to be tough with ourselves.
The advice about doing the first set immediately is game changing. No time to back out.
This perfectly captures why morning workouts are both terrible and wonderful.
Fascinating how the author turns the morning workout struggle into such an engaging read.
Anyone else feel like the article is both motivating and calling you out at the same time?
I needed this reminder about the tomorrow trap. Time to stop putting things off.
The success lies in the simplicity of just throwing yourself out of bed. No thinking required.
Great article but I wish it addressed the practical aspects of morning workout preparation.
This reminds me why I stopped morning workouts. Too much internal struggle.
The writer clearly understands the struggle. This isn't theoretical advice.
I'm inspired but also terrified to start morning workouts after reading this.
The article makes a good point about commitment. You either do it or you don't.
Maybe instead of fighting our bodies we should work with them and their natural rhythms.
The description of the internal dialogue is spot on. I have this battle every single morning.
Been doing morning workouts for years and still relate to every word of this.
I appreciate how the article doesn't pretend morning workouts are easy or natural.
The tough love approach in this article really resonates with me. Sometimes we need that push.
Not everyone has the luxury of choosing when to workout. Some of us have no choice but mornings.
I showed this to my morning workout group and we all agreed it's hilariously accurate.
The article captures the mental gymnastics we do to avoid working out perfectly.
This is way too aggressive for my taste. Morning workouts don't have to be this dramatic.
I've found setting out my workout clothes the night before helps with the morning battle.
The comparison of tomorrow to a tempting mistress is both poetic and painfully accurate.
This actually motivated me to start tomorrow. Wait... I see what I did there.
The part about reasoning with yourself is so accurate. I have that exact conversation every morning.
Anyone else feel like printing this and sticking it on their bedroom wall?
Would love to see a follow up article about maintaining this routine long term.
The writing is entertaining but the advice is solid. Getting up really is the hardest part.
What about people with sleep disorders though? This seems like a one size fits all solution.
I feel seen by this article. The internal negotiation every morning is too real.
This approach worked for me when nothing else did. Sometimes you need to be aggressive with yourself.
The first set done rule is crucial. Once you start, continuing becomes so much easier.
Love how they address all the common excuses we make. I'm definitely guilty of the tomorrow excuse.
I think the article oversimplifies the challenge of changing sleep patterns and circadian rhythms.
My partner actually did roll over me this morning to get to their workout. Now I know who to blame!
The humor in this piece really helps soften the harsh reality of morning workout struggles.
Reading this while lying in bed, contemplating skipping my morning workout. Guess I better throw myself out now.
I started morning workouts six months ago and this article perfectly captures the daily mental battle.
You all are missing the point. It's not about being gentle or aggressive. It's about just doing it no matter what.
The description of tomorrow as the biggest sweetest lie really hit home for me. I need to stop making excuses.
Not sure about the aggressive tone but the core message about commitment is spot on.
Sometimes tough love is exactly what we need. This article nailed that approach.
I wonder if the author has tried implementing a gradual transition period instead of this cold turkey approach.
The writing style is hilarious but the advice is surprisingly solid. Especially about not negotiating with yourself.
Been trying to start morning workouts for months now. This article just convinced me I'm not crazy for finding it so hard.
I actually find morning workouts energizing once I get past the initial pain of waking up.
This might work for some people but I think it's terrible advice. Gentle habits are more sustainable long term.
Anyone else feel personally attacked by the tomorrow never comes part? Because I sure do.
The tip about throwing yourself out of bed before your brain can think about it is spot on. It's the only way I've managed to make it work.
Really appreciate the brutal honesty in this article. Most fitness advice tries to sugarcoat things.
I've been doing morning workouts for 3 years now and it does get easier. The first month is absolute hell though.
My favorite line has to be rolling over your partner because they shouldn't be sleeping in the way of your goals. I actually laughed out loud at that one.
The part about tomorrow being a tempting mistress is brilliant writing. I've never read a more accurate description of procrastination.
Actually disagree with the aggressive approach. I find setting a gentler routine helps me stick to morning workouts better.
I tried morning workouts last week and honestly felt like death warmed over. The way they describe throwing yourself out of bed is exactly what it feels like.
This article really speaks to my soul. The battle with morning workouts is so real!